


Holiday Hollstein

by fictionalportal



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Christmas, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 13:16:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 20,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2852135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalportal/pseuds/fictionalportal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura brings Carmilla to her house for Christmas--to meet her dad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Carm, just put the hat on.”

Carmilla growled. 

“Don’t grumpy purr at me,” Laura said. She was on her tiptoes trying to jam a santa hat over her girlfriend’s dark hair. Carmilla tried to scratch her hand away, but Laura was annoyingly persistent. “I can hear him!” 

Carmilla knocked the hat off Laura’s head and snatched the other hat from her hand. She put it on just as Laura’s father answered the door. Laura stood dumbfounded, hatless, as her father smiled at her. 

“You know the rules, Laur,” her dad said, wagging his finger at her in imitation of reprimand. “No hat, no hug.” 

Laura scrunched her eyebrows at Carmilla and stole the santa hat off her head. Carmilla rolled her eyes. 

“After all that effort, cupcake?”

“Hi, Dad,” Laura said, ignoring her girlfriend’s snark. She smiled and hugged her father, who was in full holiday attire: he wore a bright green Christmas sweater and his own santa hat along with a silver Star of David necklace. He wore trousers that could have easily been re-stitched into a second ugly sweater. 

“This explains so much...” Carmilla muttered to herself. Laura’s face returned to its former scrunched state as she slapped the vampire’s shoulder. 

“And this can only be Betty,” Laura’s dad said, closing in for a hug.

Carmilla stiffened and backed away slightly. She started in on the long explanation of why Betty was no longer living with Laura. “Actually--”

“Betty transferred,” Laura broke in. She gestured to Carmilla. “She came a little way into the semester.” 

Carmilla looked at Laura suspiciously, but kept quiet. She figured Laura had a valid reason for not wanting to tell the whole story about how she ended up with a vampire roommate and girlfriend. 

Laura’s father didn’t seem troubled by the brevity of the tale. “Oh, well how wonderful that you’re getting along so well already. Come in, come in! There are fresh cookies on the kitchen table. I hope you remember where it is, pumpkin! I’ll grab all your luggage from the taxi.” He held a hand up to stop Laura from fishing for cash in her purse. “No, don’t worry about the fare. Consider it a late Hanukkah present, sweetheart.” 

Laura held the door open and the two went inside. There was a short hallway just past the small foyer. To the left of the foyer was a dining room. The table was set for three with shining silverware. Carmilla panicked briefly. She opened her mouth to tell Laura, but her peppy girlfriend cut her off. 

“I told him you were allergic to silver,” Laura said. “My mom had a nickel allergy, so he didn’t ask questions.” 

“You mean his first thought wasn’t ‘So she’s a vampire?’” Carmilla teased. “Feels like home already.” 

Laura narrowed her eyes at her roommate, but a small smile crept up the corners of her mouth. Carmilla smiled smugly and leaned toward Laura, but stopped when she heard the door open. She leaped backward and relaxed her elbows on the bannister of the staircase leading upstairs to the right of the foyer. 

“Either you two...already ate all the cookies or you’ve...been admiring the new flooring in the...hallway,” Laura’s dad said between heavy breaths. He swung Laura’s suitcase over the threshold. “Phew, you pack like your mother used to, Laur.” 

Laura smiled sarcastically at her father. “We can take our stuff upstairs. Carmilla can stay in my room.” 

Carmilla raised her eyebrow at Laura, but again remained silent. Carmilla had caught on to her girlfriend’s ploy. 

“I certainly hope so.” Laura’s dad said. The girls both looked at him. Laura’s wide eyes betrayed a combination of surprise and fear while Carmilla simply raised an eyebrow questioningly and bit her lower lip. Laura’s father continued. “What’s that look for, Laur? I certainly don’t plan on taking in a roommate anytime soon. You two’ve been rooming together for what, three months?” 

“Almost four,” Carmilla mumbled, glancing at Laura before examining the previously mentioned hallway floorboard. 

“What was that, not Betty?” Laura’s father said, taking a step forward. 

“It’s a nice floor,” Carmilla said, straight-faced. Laura brought a hand over her mouth and stifled a snicker. “And I’m Carmilla.” She reached out apprehensively to shake his hand. 

“Carmilla. What a nice name.” Laura’s father nodded approvingly. 

“Thanks,” Carmilla said, her gaze drifting over to Laura. Her girlfriend was grinning goofily at the sight of her father officially meeting her girlfriend. 

“Well, go on upstairs, and when you’re all settled in we can tackle those cookies.” Laura’s dad nodded again, dismissing them. He made his way through the hallway into the kitchen. 

“I got it,” Carmilla said, grabbing Laura’s suitcase. Laura clapped her hands together, smiled, and wrinkled her nose at Carmilla. She practically bounded up the stairs, Carmilla at her heels. Laura’s father’s room was directly to the right at the top of the stairs; Laura’s own was at the end of the little hallway to the left. Laura gestured grandly to her door with both arms. Carmilla bowed her head and smirked at her roommate before entering the bedroom. She was puzzled by the presence of to bunk beds on the far side of the room, each against an opposite wall. 

“Why..?” She trailed off, gesturing towards the beds. 

Laura rolled her eyes. “My dad built them. I wanted them when I was little for sleepovers.” 

“Oh yeah?” Carmilla smiled at her teasingly as she stepped closer to her. “Pretty sure sleepovers are more fun with just one bed.” 

Laura shrugged her shoulders to her ears and tried to hold back a smile as she inspected the carpet. She glanced back up at her girlfriend. She was smiling softly, serenely, holding Laura’s eyes with her intense gaze. 

“Thank you,” Carmilla said. “It’s been a while since I got to spend Christmas with a real family.” 

“Really?” Laura looked at her with wide eyes. 

“Centuries, acutally,” Carmilla replied, glancing down at the carpet. With a deep breath she reached out and pulled Laura into a hug. If vampires could cry, Carmilla would have more than imagined the tears falling down her own cheeks. She exhaled loudly over the shorter girl’s shoulder. Laura pulled away slightly to look at Carmilla, but her hands rested on the vampire’s upper arms. 

“It’s okay,” she said gently. 

“Cupcake, don’t--” Carmilla cut herself with a sigh, closing her eyes. Her shoulders shuddered as she exhaled. She felt Laura’s grip on her arms tighten. 

“Hey.” Carmilla looked up at Laura, who kept talking. “...You know.” 

Carmilla choked back a dry sob as she smiled wide. She rested her forehead against Laura’s. 

“I love you, too.” 

“I can’t believe you shook my dad’s hand.” Laura drew her forehead away and giggled, tracing her fingers down Carmilla’s arms. 

Carmilla shrugged as she took her girlfriend’s hands. “I can do manners. May I please sit on the bed?” 

“Sure, you can pick which one you want.” Laura blinked at her, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. 

“Hmm, funny.” Carmilla’s sneer turned into a smile as she pulled Laura towards her. She kissed her girlfriend softly, inhaling slowly. She paused as a thought came to her. 

“You haven’t told your dad,” Carmilla stated. Laura bit her lip and looked at her guiltily. 

“It never came up,” she replied. “He didn’t ask if I was dating anyone, so...”

“Not a problem, cutie,” Carmilla said. “We’ll keep this in here.” She kissed Laura again. And a few more times. She had lost track of how long they had been standing and kissing when she heard the stairs creak. 

“Your dad’s coming,” she whispered. Laura pursed her lips and glanced at the door. She grabbed Carmilla’s hand and marched towards the door. She flung the door open just as her father appeared in the frame. 

“Dad,” Laura said, still grasping Carmilla’s hand. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” her father replied, smiling. “I was just coming to getcha for dinner.” 

“Dad, I really should have told you before, but you never really asked, so I didn’t really say anything, but--” Laura broke off, paused, and took a deep breath. “Carmilla’s my girlfriend.” 

Her father stared at her quizzically. Carmilla lifted their linked hands, nodding. 

“Good thing she’s got her own nicknames for you already. No way is she stealing pumpkin,” her dad stated seriously. Laura squeaked and let go of Carmilla’s hand to tackle her dad in a hug. He addressed Carmilla in an intentionally loud whisper over his daughter’s shoulder. “Carmilla, sweetheart, I don’t know too many girls who call their friends ‘cupcake.’ A little bit of a tell, there,” he said, holding up his thumb and forefinger to elaborate on just how sarcastically small the sign was. 

Carmilla put her hands in her pockets and shrunk her shoulders down, looking anywhere except at the other two people in the hallway. She was taken by surprise when Laura grabbed her arm and kissed her on the cheek. 

“Time for cookies,” Laura smiled. 

“Dinner first!” Her father called from partway down the stairs. 

“Dessert after.” Carmilla said, smiling mischievously. Laura wrinkled her nose as she smiled back.


	2. Chapter 2

When Laura’s dad had mentioned cookies, he didn’t specify how many. The kitchen table was completely hidden underneath dozens of stacked cookies, bowls filled with festively colored icing, and an array of sprinkles so diverse that they could just as easily have been decorating cookies for a pride parade. Laura was already on a sugar high just from inhaling the sweet scent of the fresh-baked cookies. She bounded into the room, dragging her girlfriend along. Carmilla’s eyes widened when she saw the table. 

“Dinner first, pumpkin!” Mr. Hollis called from the dining room around the corner. 

The two girls sat at the dining table next to one another. Laura’s dad had jogged back into the kitchen and returned with a large bowl of mashed potatoes. Carmilla caught the smell of garlic crawling toward her from the bowl and wrinkled her nose. She sneezed once, twice, three times. Laura, remembering that her father’s “famous” garlic mashed potatoes deed indeed contain garlic, tried to hide her worried expression as she rubbed Carmilla’s back. 

“Are you okay?” She asked the vampire. 

“Allergies,” Carmilla said as she forced a sarcastic smile. 

“Laura mentioned that,” Mr. Hollis said. “Silver, garlic...oh, geez! I made some without. Who knew somebody could be so allergic to garlic?” He chuckled to himself as he returned to the kitchen. 

“Yeah, who knew,” Carmilla said, looking down at her plate in misery.

“I’m so sorry, Carm, I thought I reminded him when I called him this morning--”

“It’s alright, cupcake,” Carmilla said, elbowing her girlfriend lightly. “You can make it up to me later.” 

Laura smiled contentedly, thankful that the vampire wasn’t too distraught by the proximity of garlic. 

“Ham!” Mr. Hollis yelled out. He walked briskly into the room, a full-sized ham balanced precariously atop a relatively small tray. He slid the tray onto the table and flapped his oven mitts in the air. “Straight from the oven to the table.” 

Carmilla snorted. Laura frowned at her disapprovingly, pursing her lips and glancing at her out of the corner of her eye. Carmilla pressed her lips together to let Laura know she would do her best not to cause trouble during dinner. 

“Potatoes! Be right back. Go ahead and serve yourselves, girls,” Mr. Hollis said as he quickly shuffled back towards the kitchen. 

“How about a movie?” Carmilla said. 

“Hm?” Laura looked up from her plate, her mouth already full of mashed potatoes. 

“Movie night sounds nice,” the vampire said. “Curl up on the couch, fall asleep...maybe something in between...” 

“We are not watching The Lion King again,” Laura said flatly. 

Carmilla pouted back. “Aristocats?” 

“How about we marathon all the Air Bud movies instead?” 

Carmilla’s eyes darkened as she glared at Laura. “Only if we watch Old Yeller afterward.” 

“Fine, you win,” Laura said, feigning surrender and yawning loudly. “I guess I’ll just decorate some cookies and go to sleep early.” 

“Fine, you win,” Carmilla stated crossly. Her expression softened. “You choose.”

“I’ll see what we have,” Laura jumped up and pranced through the kitchen into the living room. 

“Potatoes!” Mr. Hollis announced. He set the dish next to Carmilla’s plate and noticed his daughter’s sudden absence. “Oh, shoot, did you get hungry and eat Laura while I was gone?” 

Carmilla’s eyes widened in pure embarrassment. She brought up a hand to scrath her forehead and block Laura’s father’s line of sight. She stared intently at the potatoes. 

“Laur? You know you want more of my famous garlic potatoes,” Mr. Hollis said. 

Laura came back into the dining room and dropped a DVD box into Carmilla’s lap. 

“Actually, Carm, would you pass the plain ones?” Laura asked. 

Carmilla’s mouth hung opened slightly. Laura was sweet, deliberately avoiding the pungent garlic potatoes she had grown up with every holiday. After passing her the potatoes, Carmilla glanced down at the movie Laura had delivered. She growled in the back of her throat. Laura glanced up at her innocently. 

“What’s up, Carm?” 

“Twilight? With the sparkly twerp? This is not better than The Lion King.” 

“I’d have to agree with Carmilla, Laur,” Mr. Hollis said. 

“Oh shoot! I promise I grabbed the wrong one!” Laura flailed her hands around as she spoke, then jumped up and ripped the DVD away. 

“So, Carmilla,” Mr. Hollis began as Laura tore back into the room. She dropped The Lion King on the table in front of Carmilla. When she sat back down, she leaned over and kissed the vampire on the cheek. 

“I’m so sorry,” Laura said snapping her napkin over her lap. “They were both in the T section.” 

“You alphabetized your movies? And you still grabbed the wrong one?” Carmilla teased. 

“Oh shush,” she rolled her eyes at the vampire.

“Anyway, Carmilla--never mind.” Mr. Hollis started. 

“What is it, Dad?” Laura asked. 

“How are those potatoes?” 

Carmilla flashed him a small smile before resuming reading the back of the DVD box. She had hardly touched her food, but she had brought a few thermoses of blood in her duffel bag. 

Mr. Hollis continued. “Laura, would you grab the veggies from the fridge? They’re in the usual spot.” 

“Sure, Dad,” Laura said, narrowing her eyes and looking between him and Carmilla. 

Once Laura had left the room, Mr. Hollis finally dove in. 

“Carmilla, I’ve seen Laura’s broadcast. I know what all this allergies business is about. I know what you did for her and the school, which is why I’m willing to give you a chance, but--” 

Carmilla cut it, indignant. “Give me a chance? And you think your opinion is decisive?” She paused. Her words sharpened “Laura’s mind is her own to make up. Whether you agree or not won’t change anything.” 

“Look, all I’m saying is--it wouldn’t be my first choice to have my daughter dating...you know,” he said. 

Carmilla narrowed her eyes at him, gritting her teeth, challenging him to say what he really meant. 

“You’re not scared of the dark, are you, Mr. Hollis, no creatures of the night?” Carmilla’s stated the question as if only she knew the answer. “Sometimes the light can be much, much scarier, especially when it shines on something you’d rather keep hidden.” 

Mr. Hollis was red as a lobster. “That is not what I’m saying. I just don’t want my daughter getting eaten by creatures of the night!” His voice had dropped to a hissed whisper.

“Creature of the night, lady in white, you wouldn’t see a difference.” 

“Please, Carmilla. You’re taking this the wrong way.” His tone was less pleading than it was threatening. 

“Am I?” 

“Yes, I--”

“Making my decisions for me already?” Carmilla leaned forward like a cat preparing to pounce as Laura came around the corner. 

“Dad, I have no idea where they are. What are you doing?” Laura’s face was scrunched in confusion. 

“Staring contests,” Carmilla answered. “Best of three.” 

“Ooookay, well, thanks for dinner, Dad. Do you mind if we start the movie?” 

“Go ahead, sweetheart. I’ll put the dishes in to wash and join you after,” her dad responded. 

“Oh, um, I was thinking we could just, like, date night it, sort of,” Laura sputtered. “If that’s okay with you. I know it’s not your favorite Disney movie anyway.” 

“Fine, pumpkin. But you know the rules.” Her dad raised his eyebrows at her. 

“Yeah, Dad, always fold the blankets up.” Laura dismissed his strictness with a flip of her hair. 

“Laura,” he said sternly as he gathered up dishes. She had already started down the hallway. 

“I’ll put the remote back, too, Dad,” Laura called from the other room. 

Carmilla stood and cast a last stare at her host, but he was already focused on picking up plates. She left without saying a word.


	3. Chapter 3

Carmilla hated the hyenas. Every time they were on screen, she would growl as Laura reassured her that the large cat, Scar, was still in charge of the situation. 

“Damn dogs,” Carmilla muttered as the scene switched. “Their humor is so dreary. Thank god that was their last scene.” 

“Mmhmm. I know. You have mentioned that a few times.” Laura snuggled up closer to her broody girlfriend. “Hey, Carm, are you okay?” She looked up at the vampire from her shoulder. Laura noticed Carmilla’s jaw flex as she shifted to better accommodate the snuggling. 

“Fine,” she replied. 

“Okay, that was about the least convincing ‘fine’ I’ve ever heard,” Laura said, moving toward the middle of the couch to face Carmilla. The vampire was seated on the side of the couch closer to the television and she grabbed the remote to pause the movie. She exhaled loudly as she turned to face Laura. 

“Look, I heard what my dad was saying,” Laura said, taking one of Carmilla’s hands in her own. “I--I’m not really surprised. Well I am kind of surprised he watched the videos. I didn’t think he knew when we got here.” 

“He didn’t know about me or he didn’t know about you?” 

Carmilla held Laura’s gaze with tired, heavy eyes. Laura was silent. She looked down at their tangled hands as Carmilla rubbed Laura’s thumb with her own. 

“I don’t want to finish the movie,” Carmilla said as she stretched her legs out across Laura’s lap and rested her head on the couch armrest. “I’m tired.”

“It’s a little before your bedtime,” Laura commented. 

“Mmm.” Carmilla groaned back. 

“Alright,” Laura said, throwing her hands up. “Sleep it is. Guess I don’t have to make it up to you after all.” 

“What?” Carmilla was suddenly alert. 

“Hm? Oh, nothing. I thought that since dinner was so rough...” she trailed off, avoiding eye contact as she pulled her sweater over her head. Carmilla sat up and grabbed Laura’s face with both hands, her calves still resting on Laura’s thighs. 

“Movie and entertainment? I’ve been to worse dinner parties.” She went in for a kiss, but Laura pushed her backward by the chest, moving her off her lap. Carmilla recovered from the shock of being shoved by her tiny girlfriend just as she realized she was being straddled. Laura grabbed Carmilla’s face and kissed her deeply, forcing her head down onto the armrest. Carmilla pulled her girlfriend’s waist towards her, letting her hands wander lower as the kissing continued. 

Carmilla dropped one leg off the side of the couch to brace herself. She pulled Laura off the couch entirely and, in one motion, lowered her back down so that her head was on the opposite armrest. The vampire half-pounced on top of her, grabbing her waist and pulling her closer, so close almost every part of them was touching. Their legs were tangled, one of Carmilla’s between Laura’s and one wrapped around her outer thigh. 

Laura was sure she would never tire of Carmilla’s forceful kisses. They made her feel necessary, like Carmilla was craving something deep below the surface. Laura knew that was partially true, given the vampire need for blood, but she hoped that her girlfriend’s kisses weren’t backed by bloodlust. Just regular lust. 

“Hey,” Laura muttered between kisses. 

“Not now,” Carmilla murmered back, her free hand making its way down to Laura’s stomach and finding skin beneath her shirt. Laura gasped at her cold touch. 

“Mmkay.” Laura had no desire to protest. She had planned to give her girlfriend a break from being so dominant, but her habits were not easily broken. Laura was fully content to let Carmilla continue. 

Carmilla drew away suddenly, pulling Laura up with her by the waist. Carmilla was kneeling over Laura’s leg. Laura watched her girlfriend’s dark eyes scan her slowly, analyzing each feature of her face and body carefully. 

“Hey,” Laura repeated, bringing her hand up to Carmilla’s face. “What is it?” 

“I love you, Laura.” The words fell off her tongue. She exhaled quickly before inhaling raggedly. “Your father can say what he wants about me; either way, he changes nothing.” 

Laura’s eyes drifted to Carmilla’s lips. She brushed them with her thumb, hoping to keep more words from interrupting them. Carmilla gritted her teeth, blinked slowly, and continued. 

“He’s afraid you’re going to get eaten,” she said, one eyebrow raised. She looked into Laura’s brown eyes and saw a wide smile spread across her lips. Laura kissed Carmilla through the smile. 

“He’s paranoid,” Laura said. “Don’t let him get to you.” 

“I truly terrify him, don’t I?” Carmilla couldn’t help but laugh a little. “I have better things to do than to strike fear into the heart of a man in a horrible holiday sweater.” 

“Mmm.” Laura agreed, already kissing her again. “Like sleep.” 

“Tired already?” Carmilla teased. 

“It is two a.m.,” Laura pointed out. “Almost your bedtime.” 

“Hmm. May as well, then.” 

“Can you grab the blanket?” 

Carmilla retrived the blanket from the ground. Laura had huddled down into her corner of the couch. Carmilla tossed the blanket over her and lay down, her head on the opposite armrest. Laura sat up and spread some of the blanket over her girlfriend. 

“I wasn’t cold,” Carmilla said. Laura shrugged and lay back down. “Thanks, cupcake.” 

“Carm?” 

“Mmhmm?”

“Good night.” 

“Good night, cupcake.” Carmilla half-sang the nickname in her gritty voice.

“That’s my foot.” 

“Mmhmm.” 

Their feet tangled underneath the blanket, Carmilla began to drift off. She was half asleep when she was pulled back to wakefulness. 

“Carm.” It was Laura. 

“Nnnngh,” was the closest Carmilla could get to words. 

“Carmilla.” 

She opened her eyes. 

“I love you, too,” Laura said, nearly whispering. 

“Glad to hear it, cupcake. Now go to sleep.” 

“Mmhmm.” 

“...Love you...” 

Carmilla wasn’t sure if she had said it again or if she was dreaming about Laura’s words. She felt Laura shift slightly as she fell into sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

“Crap! What time is it?” Laura’s loud whisper cut through Carmilla’s foggy sleep. 

“Laura, why...” Carmilla had buried her face between the cushions of the couch and when she rolled over the crosshatched upholstery patten was imprinted on her face. It was around dawn, maybe seven in the morning. A lazy indigo haze had settled on the blanket of untouched snow outside the living room window. 

“We have to go upstairs,” Laura said hastily, sitting up and leaning towards the barely awake vampire across from her. “My dad will be up soon and the first thing he’ll do is check on me. Us. Make sure nothing--”

“If I sing ‘Silent Night’ while we walk upstairs will you be quiet?” Carmilla cut in, her voice weighed down by sleep. She sat up, letting the blanket drop off her lap. “Well? Lead the way.” She gestured for Laura to stand up as she pushed herself up off the armrest. A thought of how very comfortable that armrest had been under her head last night flashed through her mind. She stood and grabbed Laura’s left hand with her right. 

“Hey, cutie, your dad probably checked in on us last night. Pretty sure he wouldn’t wait until morning.” 

“Carm, we should still go upstairs. Plus, that couch makes my neck all stiff.” She demonstrated her discomfort by rubbing her shoulder with her free hand. Carmilla rolled her eyes, but she had no desire to keep Laura from a comfy pillow. She let Laura pull her down the hallway towards the staircase and they stumbled up the first few stairs before Laura stopped. 

“Do you hear something?” 

Carmilla leaned closer to the wall. 

“Nothing on vampire sonar,” she said, struggling to keep her eyes open. Laura tightened her grip and the vampire perked up slightly. Carmilla put her ear against the wall, somehow managing not to slump asleep against it. 

“I think he’s moving around,” Laura said, squinting as she listened as if it would somehow better enable her to identify the shuffling sounds coming from behind the wall. 

“That, or your water heater is working,” Carmilla responded. “He’s snoring.” 

“Oh, thank goodness.” Laura relaxed. She sat down on the landing step; Carmilla followed quickly. They were only a few steps out of the hallway, but the large square stair near the bottom of the staircase felt isolated from the rest of the house. Laura let her head drop onto her girlfriend’s shoulder. Her other hand drifted over to rest over their intertwined fingers. 

“Carmilla,” Laura started, “what’s your favorite Christmas song?” 

“Not sure you’d know it, cupcake.” 

“Is it old?” Laura asked, catching herself after she had already spit out the question. “Not that you’re old, I just--” She stopped talking when she looked up and saw that Carmilla was trying not to laugh at her girlfriend’s embarrassment. 

“It’s older than me, actually.” The vampire started humming a tune Laura recognized almost instantly as ‘What Child is This.’

“Seriously? Everybody knows that song, Carm.” Laura rolled her eyes and elbowed her girlfriend.

“Did you know it was about a prostitute?”

“What?”

“Yep.”

“I don’t--no way.” 

“Isn’t it called ‘Greensleeves?’ Try rolling around in the grass sometime and maybe you’ll get it,” Carmilla explained, smirking. Laura couldn’t possibly resist the seduction eyes at this hour of the morning. 

“Um...” Laura’s murmuring dropped off and became unintelligible before she spoke up again. “You can keep singing, if you want.” 

“Looking for a serenade?” Carmilla said, raising her eyebrow and smiling playfully. 

“Mmm, sure,” Laura muttered as she snuggled into her girlfriend’s shoulder. Carmilla hummed the tune quietly in a low octave, a deep sound that resonated in her chest as the melody took form. The mysterious old song sounded just like the purple morning, and Laura almost fell back asleep with her face buried in Carmilla’s soft flannel shirt collar. When the humming ended, Laura snapped out of her lucid slumber. 

“Upstairs,” she said. 

“Sure,” Carmilla agreed, her eyelids heavy. “Now it’s about my bedtime.” 

Laura giggled. Her gaze flickered down to Carmilla’s lips, but she turned away to pull her girlfriend up the stairs. No more distractions from the singing vampire. They crept down the hallway, hoping the boards underneath the carpeting wouldn’t creak and give them away. Once they finally arrived at her room, Laura shut the door, but Carmilla looked cross. 

“No open door rule?” She asked. 

“He’s never explicitly mentioned one,” Laura shrugged, walking over to one of the twin beds and pulling back the covers. 

“It’s been twelve hours and your dad’s already tried to kill me with garlic for showing up,” Carmilla stated. “At this point, I don’t really feel like giving him a real reason to stake me.” 

“Carm,” Laura pouted. 

Carmilla gave Laura a stern look. The vampire’s disgust with the morning light helped shield her from her girlfriend’s pleading puppy stare. 

“Let’s keep Mr. Hollis happy ‘til New Year’s,” Carmilla began, “then we’ll go somewhere. Explore a city or something...glamorous. Deal?” 

“Mmkay. You can at least kiss me goodnight, you goofy vampire.” 

“Think I can manage that.” Carmilla smilled and kissed her headstrong girlfriend softly. Laura hopped into her bed. Before going to her own bed, however, Carmilla leaned down and kissed Laura’s forehead. Carmilla climbed into the other twin bed. It felt much farther from the other bed than just a few feet, but then Carmilla heard Laura’s voice call to her quietly. 

“...Carm?”

“I’m here,” Carmilla responded, reassuring both Laura and herself. 

“Did you just kiss my forehead?”

“What if I did?” 

“And then you left for another bed.” 

“Sweet dreams, Laura.” 

Laura sighed. She was glad for a few more hours of sleep before Chrismas morning, even if Carmilla insisted on being across the room from her. “Merry Christmas, Carmilla.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fair warning: wrote this tired and sick. why the heck does this keep turning angsty when all i want is fluff...

Carmilla felt something tickling her nose. She pawed it away only for it to return a second later. She scratched at whatever was crawling on her and rolled over to face the wall, dragging the warm comforter over her head. 

“Ow,” Laura murmered, kneeling next to Carmilla’s bed. “You might want to cut your nails, Carm.” 

Hearing her girlfriend’s voice, Carmilla flipped back over swiftly to face her. She propped herself up on one elbow and reached for Laura with her other hand. 

“Did I hurt you?” She asked, checking Laura’s hand for marks left by impulsive fingernails. Her voice was weighed down by sleep and crackling with sudden concern.

“I’m fine,” Laura said, rolling her eyes. Her gaze landed on her overprotective girlfriend. “I’m sure the bleeding will stop eventually.” 

“Laura--”

“Kidding, Carm.” Laura repealed her teasing when she saw Carmilla’s lips curl involuntarily into a frown, her jaw tense. “Besides, I kind of deserved it. Waking up an angry nocturnal creature before noon on the most festive day of the year was a little obnoxious.”

“I’m not--” Carmilla was suddenly defensive. “I thought I might have hurt you by mistake, Laura.” 

The emphasis on ‘you’ made Laura rethink what Carmilla had said. “Were you fighting someone in your dream?” She furrowed her brow at the vampire in curiosity. 

“Um, yeah,” Carmilla replied, pushing herself into a seated position under the sheets. Her upper body was wrapped in the sheets as tightly as a burrito, reminding Laura of the time she had kept the vampire tied up for days in their room. Carmilla looked only slightly less starved and tired now than she had then, but that was probably just the morning hitting her hard. 

“Some epic battle against a mouse?” Laura asked playfully when her girlfriend didn’t continue. She was hopeful--though doubtful--that was the case. She traced wispy twists over Carmilla’s thumb with her own. 

“Not exactly, creampuff,” Carmilla said, exhaling audibly and shaking off the evidently violent dream. Laura noticed her eyes were wandering, landing anywhere but in Laura’s vicinity. “You’re sure I didn’t hurt you?”

“You didn’t hurt me.” 

Carmilla waited for the confirmation before glancing up at Laura. The vampire looked strikingly like an abandoned puppy, especially considering she was, in all senses, a cat. Without her usual eye makeup, Carmilla looked a little tired and undoubtedly less intimidating (not that Laura had ever been intimidated). She slumped back into the sheets facing the wall, her head landing on the pillow with a fluffy thump. She turned away without letting go of Laura’s hand. Laura pushed herself off the ground and sat on the edge of the twin bed. 

“Do you want to talk about your dream? Er, nightmare, I guess?” She asked hesitantly. 

“No,” Carmilla snarled. Her eyes were closed to build a facade of apathy, but the crease between her eyebrows gave away more than her clipped response. 

“Okay. You don’t have to.” 

Laura released Carmilla’s hand and repositioned herself so that she was stretched out next to the vampire. As soon as she had let go, Carmilla glanced back over her shoulder and started to get up again. 

“I didn’t scare you off,” Carmilla said in relief as she saw Laura next to her. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Carm. I don’t care how scary your dreams are. Well, I do care, I didn’t mean, like--” Laura stopped herself from continuing to gesticulate furiously. Carmilla was thankful: she wasn’t sure she had the energy to kiss her quiet. 

“Hmm.” 

Laura decided to ignore the possibility that her vampire girlfriend had just purred at her and reached for some of the tangled sheet. Carmilla gave up enough blanket that Laura had to huddle close to her to stay completely under the warm comforter. Rather than fight Carmilla for her precious blanket, Laura simply wrapped her arm around her girlfriend’s waist. She snuggled up next to her, kissed the back of her neck tenderly, and let her forehead drop against the spot she had kissed. Carmilla hoped her sweet girlfriend hadn’t noticed her jaw clench to choke back a sob over the lingering fear from the dream. She started to drift back to sleep, back into the dream she had fought to escape. 

Carmilla saw herself unarmed facing a spreading darkness. It looked like a pit, but somehow it was rising up around her and surrounding her. There was no light coming from the depths swallowing her up. She tried desperately to pull herself out, but there was nothing to grab onto, no rocky wall as there had been when she had fought the unspeakably evil light demon. This swarming darkness was worse. It ate everything around her, leaving her to face it alone. 

She knew Laura was there. Behind her. She tried to yell at her to leave, but something was blocking her. She couldn’t speak. All that came out was a hollow hiss. She felt her fangs escape, sliding into her bottom lip as she tried to force them back. She tasted blood. Her own blood. She knew she couldn’t stop herself, so she tried to run, but she could only run further into the darkness. Why was Laura following her? Didn’t she know she was in danger? 

“Carmilla!” 

She heard the yell from outside the darkness. Her eyes snapped open. She bolted upright and threw the blanket to the bottom of the bed. She expected to find blood spattered on the sheet and her fingers went to her lips. There were two small cuts in her lower lip: her fangs had only grazed the skin, not punctured it. She felt a hand on her back. She flinched away when she realized it must have been Laura. 

“Carm, what happened? Please.” 

The vampire made the mistake of looking directly into the wide pleading eyes her girlfriend had focused on her in concern. Or was it fear? Carmilla collapsed, entangling her hands in the sheets and trying to cover her lips and mouth and fangs. These stupid fangs. 

“Carm.” Laura’s voice was firm. She never sacrificed empathy for false parental sternness, however. 

Carmilla tried not to cry. Vampires don’t cry. Especially not in front of other people. Did she still count as a person? Did she even need to breathe, or was that just another stiff three-hundred year old habit? 

She screamed into the blanket. 

“Carm, will you just tell me what’s going on, please?!” Despite her calm voice, Laura was freaking out. She had never seen Carmilla lose it like this. Both were quiet for a while. 

The vampire muttered something into the blanket. 

“What? Carm, I can’t understand you.” 

Carmilla looked up at her, cheeks streaked with tears she had refused to let out for longer than cars had been on the roads. “I bit you.” 

“You didn’t bite me. That one time was an accident--”

“I bit you. Just now, in my dream. Not just--it wasn’t like that. I bit you.” 

Laura nodded solemnly. “Turned me into a vampire.” 

Carmilla’s head bobbed vigorously as she confirmed Laura’s conclusion. 

“The fangs, they were there, I never--they broke skin like a knife through silk.” 

“You didn’t bite me, Carmilla. Look, no bite marks,” Laura said, pointing out her unscarred neck and collarbone. The human girl noticed little beads of blood welling up on the vampire’s lip. “But you bit yourself.” 

Laura reached out to brush the blood off when Carmilla jerked backwards. 

“You don’t want to touch them.” 

“No, I don’t want to touch the fangs. There’s blood on your lip.” 

“Leave it,” Carmilla replied. “Laura, you have to promise you won’t come near me again while I’m sleeping.” 

Laura was puzzled. “Hang on. So you don’t want to cuddle? Not even if you’re little spoon?” 

Carmilla’s pained expression quickly informed Laura it was not the time for jokes. 

“Please don’t be so shaken up by this, Carm,” Laura said, wanting to take her hand but refraining for fear she would be rejected again. 

“Your father was right.” 

Laura’s eyes widened. “He scared you into dreaming this, Carm! I know you wouldn’t do that to me.” 

“The fangs don’t come out often,” Carmilla said. “Only on the occassion that feeding becomes a conversion event. If I had so little as grazed you with the tooth, Laura--” 

“But you didn’t. And I’m fine. You, on the other hand...” Laura trailed off as she noticed Carmilla was not smiling at her terrible sense of humor. “Look, we have two hours until my dad will come jingle bells-ing down the hallway. We can sleep or you can talk.” 

“Laura, if I ever hurt you in any way, even by accident, I would be incapable of living with myself.” 

“Carm, that’s not true. But it doesn’t matter because I trust you.” 

“Trust can only help you so much, cupcake.” 

“I trusted you. I do trust you.” 

“See, that’s great, but you really shouldn’t--”

“Carm, will you stop this?” Laura was almost yelling. “I hate seeing you like this! I know it’s my dad’s fault and your mother’s fault and our weird school’s fault but it’s isn’t you. Don’t you think for a second that any of this is because of you.” 

Carmilla hesitated before diving into Laura’s arms mid-wide-gesture. The vampire kept her arms tangled in the bedding, but she felt Laura’s arms wrap around her. She expected to wake up at any moment, go back to the horrible battle with the darkness, but it didn’t happen. She was really here, Laura was safe, and she was in control of her re-inborn monstrous instincts. She had survived since World War II without becoming so desperate for blood she had killed someone and turned them. She never let the fangs unsheath themselves. She had tried filing them down early on in the transformation when she was still learning how to control them, but now she understood how they worked. Sometimes it was just difficult to remember that she didn’t have to let the undead, bloodthirsty part of her take over her body. 

Laura rubbed her back until Carmilla stopped shaking under her hand. The small human had assumed her girlfriend had fallen asleep again, so she was surprised when Carmilla’s head left her lap. Two puffy, dark eyes looked at her blankly at first. 

Carmilla tried to think of ways to thank Laura for helping her through the nightmare, but she was at a loss for words when it came to her girlfriend’s bravery in such situations. 

“Hey,” Laura said, smiling at Carmilla like she had after watching her come back from the dead (near dead, re-dead? Who knows). 

“Hey,” Carmilla returned, a tired smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Carmilla leaned towards Laura, their foreheads colliding softly and resting against each other for a few moments. “Saving all your presents until tomorrow?” 

Laura was glad her dad hadn’t scared off Carmilla’s personality.


	6. Chapter 6

Laura figured it was around eleven when she woke up again. Her father must have been making breakfast downstairs: pans and trays clanged about below her room. Laura popped her head up to look over Carmilla’s shoulder and observed her sleeping relatively peacefully. Laura dropped back down onto the pillow, letting out a sigh and snuggling up to her girlfriend. One of her arms was already resting around Carmilla’s waist and she brought the other around underneath her to hug her. The vampire groaned and rolled to face her. 

“Morning, cutie,” she said in a low voice as she stretched her arm out over her head.

“How are you feeling?” Laura said, trying not to look as concerned as she was. 

“I can imagine worse ways to be awakened.” Her eyes fluttered open. She smiled as she saw Laura in front of her, her hand coming down and landing on Laura’s waist. Her hand flirted with the bottom of Laura’s shirt, drifting under it to pull her close by her lower back. She cracked a grin as she watched Laura beam at her. 

A voice echoed down the hall. “Who wants breakfast?” 

Laura’s eyes widened as she caught her breath. She scrambled out of Carmilla’s bed and jumped into her own as quietly as she could. Carmilla rolled her eyes. Laura’s father certainly had an irritating way of showing up at just the wrong time. Laura sat up and pulled the blanket over her lap as her father popped his head into the room.

“Merry Christmas! Breakfast is downstairs. I’m gonna go for a little walk. Give you two some time.” 

He left the door slightly open as he left. Laura waited until the door had closed to speak. 

“He’s going to the cemetery,” she said, biting her lip. 

“Well, I’m going downstairs. Breakfast sounds delicious after being dragged up the stairs at the unholiest hour of the morning.” 

Laura smiled a little. She was glad Carmilla was alright, but her exoskeleton of apathy seemed a little thicker than usual. She went to brush her teeth but kept her silk pajama pants and tank top on. She never changed out of her pajamas on Christmas. That was as much a tradition as her father walking to the graveyard. Laura used to go with him when she was too young to stay home alone, but she had stopped visiting her mother’s grave almost a decade ago. She didn’t remember her well enough to justify spending her Christmases at the cemetery. This year, at least, she didn’t have to stay home alone with thoughts that guiltily centered around images of her father placing flowers next to a cold headstone. Laura washed her face, dismissing thoughts of her parents and turning her attention to making sure Carmilla’s first Christmas with her was worth remembering for nothing but good reasons. She figured breakfast alone was her father’s way of trying to apologize for yesterday’s dinner, but whether or not that was true Laura was happy to have some time with her girlfriend after the events of the early morning. 

At the kitchen table, Carmilla had set up two cookie decorating stations with various breakfast items in reach. She was snacking on bacon and raspberries while painting ornaments onto a tree-shaped sugar cookie with a toothpick. A thermos filled with blood was next to her plate. Next to the second plate was a mug of hot chocolate. Laura sat down where the mug was and noticed there were sprinkles on the whipped cream. Her dad never let her have sprinkles and whipped cream on her hot chocolate. Carmilla glanced up at her from the intricate cookie, letting her eyes linger for a moment. When Laura noticed her watching, she returned her attention to the cookie, which looked shockingly like the tree behind her in the living room. 

“I think you’ve attained pseudo-realism with icing and sprinkles,” Laura said, raising her eyebrows at the cookie artist. Carmilla smiled and scoffed but kept her eyes on the cookie. 

“So...” Laura started. “Can we talk about last night?” 

Carmilla paused and then continued working without looking up at her girlfriend. “About you interrupting my favorite movie and shoving me onto my back on your couch?” 

“Um, well, I guess we could talk about that, too...” Laura’s eyebrows knit together. She was suddenly flustered by the reminder. “You--you know what I mean.” 

“Look, cupcake. If you’re hoping for a talk about feelings, you should have asked Santa--”

“Carmilla!”

Her stern shout hit Carmilla in the chest. It sounded exactly like the yell she had heard in her dream last night, that horrible dream that wouldn’t leave her alone even in the daytime. Carmilla threw the cookie down onto the table and brought her hands up to her face. She combed her fingers through her bangs, covering her eyes with the palms of her hands. 

“Carm...”

Laura was right there next to her, kneeling and reaching for her hand. Carmilla tried to swat her hand away, but Laura was persistent. She took both of Carmilla’s wrists in hers and pulled her so that she was forced to face her. For a tiny human, she was strong when she wanted to be, when Carmilla needed her to be. 

“It was a dream, okay? It’s gone now. You keep replaying it and that’s what’s giving it power. I’m fine.” 

“I’m not,” Carmilla whispered. “Laura...I’m drinking blood on Christmas three centuries after I was born.” 

Laura pulled away from her slightly as she realized what was really upsetting her girlfriend. She hadn’t come to terms with being an immortal, blood-drinking, semi-human. As harsh and it sounded to Laura, Carmilla was not human, at least physically. Emotionally and mentally she was torn between an existence as an eighteen-year-old, facing problems like meeting her girlfriend’s dad, and the half-life of a deathless mythical creature trying to figure out how, in a few decades, she would have to deal with losing--Laura refused to acknowledge the thought. 

The vampire continued. “And I don’t understand how you’re so...so calm about it.” 

Laura took a deep breath to give herself time to think. “I guess you didn’t ever make a big deal out of it, really, besides, you know, the soy milk thing.” 

“You think keeping blood in a milk container is the worst thing about me being a vampire?” Carmilla raised her eyebrows and sniffled, very obviously trying not to cry. 

“Well, it did ruin my cereal that morning. I had to go to class on an empty stomach.” Laura pursed her lips and nodded. “It was pretty rough.” 

Carmilla laughed, but the chuckle hitched in her throat and came out as a tight sob. 

Laura continued, taking one of Carmilla’s hands between hers. She looked through the messy bangs that hung in front of her eyes, holding her gaze. “Just remember that I kept that container of blood around after the battle. Just in case.” 

Carmilla closed her eyes and let out a long exhale. Laura was almost worried she had stopped breathing altogether, but then her girlfriend opened her eyes and looked at her in a way that would have made Laura blush intensely at any less serious time. Carmilla would have stared at the last flower in the world with the same sadness and awe in her eyes. She swallowed with some difficulty, her breath blocked by tears and congestion, and cocked her head slightly. The sadness left her eyes, replaced by nothing but visible wonder and palpable thankfulness. She blinked and pulled a hand away to push her bangs back from her eyes. 

“Laura Hollis, you are so stupidly brave. And I don’t deserve you.” She shook her head and looked at the floor. 

Laura popped up and kissed her cheek. Carmilla felt a hand on her cheek turn her head gently. Laura’s lips met hers. She didn’t kiss her back at first, but Laura tightened the grip on her hand and kissed her so long that Carmilla eventually gave in. She finally pulled away and dropped her gaze only when her lungs burned, reminding her to breathe. She took a deep breath as she rested her forehead on Laura’s and squeezed her hand tightly. It felt good to know she had to breathe. 

“If you want, later, we can talk about the other thing, too,” Laura suggested after a few quiet moments. 

“Hm?” Carmilla pulled away and looked at Laura for elaboration. 

Laura bit her lip before continuing. “Well, you did mention the couch thing,” she said, her eyebrows rising and knitting together. She stared at her girlfriend, waiting for her to jump in. 

“You want to talk about..?” Carmilla dropped off. 

“I mean, we probably should, right? You know, so that we know--”

“Who’s ready for presents?!” The front door banged into the wall as Mr. Hollis entered the house far too loudly. 

Laura pursed her lips at her father’s less-than-subtle arrival, but she sighed in relief that the conversation had been cut off. “Hold that thought for later.” 

“Later,” Carmilla agreed and managed a small smile. Laura kissed her once quickly and stood up to greet her father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to formally apologize for projecting my own angst onto Carmilla...she doesn't deserve it. I keep trying to write happy things for these two and somehow the angst is building (maybe if the fandom would stop with the angsty theories and comics, coughcough). Anyways, next chapter will be happiness. Presents et al. Think gag gifts. Yeees.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it! Fluff for all of you. Thanks for reading! Please comment if you wish :) I appreciate the feedback greatly.

Once everyone had finally migrated into the living room, it was time to open presents. They always started with stockings. Since Laura had been gone this year, her dad had pretty much been left the responsibility of filling both hers and his own. However, Laura had made sure to slip a few surprises in. She had also picked up a stocking stuffer substitute for Carmilla: a small box wrapped up in blue paper. 

“Consider it a Hanukkah present,” Laura said as she handed her girlfriend the little box. 

“We didn’t light the menorah!” Mr. Hollis cried out. “I completely forgot to get it out this year.” 

“That’s okay, Dad,” Laura replied with a smile. 

“I know you love lighting it, Laur. I didn’t even realize it had passed.” He rubbed the Star of David necklace pendant absent-mindedly. 

Laura reached up from her spot on the floor to place a hand on her father’s knee. He was seated on the end of the couch closest to the tree, which stood at the edge of the living room and kitchen. Carmilla had sat down right in front of the pile of presents. 

“I don’t think Mom will be mad at you.” Laura smiled sadly at her father. He returned the smile, his dimples just like Laura’s. 

“Anyway,” he said, sniffing, “we’d better get on with it before we run out of Christmas daylight, sleepyheads.” 

“Open it,” Laura said excitedly, smiling at her girlfriend. 

Carmilla carefully tore off the corners folded over the little box. She wondered what could possibly be small enough to fit inside such a tiny container. Underneath the wrapping paper she discovered a square jewelry box. She glanced up at Laura before opening it. Inside was a silvery-black penguin pendant on a black cord. 

“It’s hematite, so it kind of looks like silver without actually being silver,” Laura explained rather frantically, “and it’s a little darker so I thought it would go with your outifts better anyway.” She shrugged shyly, hoping she had convinced her girlfriend of the amount of thought she had put into the small gift. 

“It’s nice,” Carmilla said. “Penguins have always been one of the more amusing animals.” 

“Amusing?” Laura said, her smile dissipating and betraying her disappointment with Carmilla’s response. 

“Of course. They choose a mate for life. See, one penguin gives another penguin a shiny rock or a pretty pebble. If they accept, they’re soulmates.” Carmilla said as she clasped the necklace on. She looked at Laura and saw that a distant smile had returned to her face, her eyes shining. 

“And you don’t find that ridiculous?” Laura asked. 

“I think a rock is a perfectly suitable gift.” 

“I meant the soulmate thing.” 

“Ah.” Carmilla paused. “No. Not ridiculous.” 

“Speaking of ridiculous,” Laura’s dad broke in. Carmilla had forgotten he was there. “Carmilla, it’s a tradition of sorts to open a gag gift after stockings and before we get into the real presents.” 

“Got it covered, Dad,” Laura said. She fished out a slightly larger box than the one she had just given Carmilla from under the tree and handed it to her. 

“Lucky you, Laura. I came prepared.” Carmilla sorted through some of the branches of the tree and pulled out an envelope. 

“On three?” Laura suggested. Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her and then instantly started ripping off the paper on the rectangular box. Laura followed suit, tearing the envelope open with one finger. She took out the card inside. It was decorated with a Star of David in the background and had originally said ‘Congrats on your Batmitzvah!’ but Carmilla had lazily crossed out ‘Batmitzvah’ and replaced it with ‘Christmas.’ The inside of the card was signed from Carmilla in a neat cursive script that could have been easily mistaken for a printed font. Laura burst out laughing when she re-read the front of the card, but Carmilla was already distracted by what she had found inside the second box. 

“Seriously, Carm?” Laura asked. “It was supposed to be a joke.” 

“Look at it,” Carmilla said. She was laser-focused on, well, a laser pointer. 

“Oh my god, Carm,” Laura laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. “You are literally a cat.” 

“Look at it,” Carmilla repeated. “It’s moving.” 

“Your hand is shaking,” Laura pointed out. 

“Hm?” Carmilla turned her gaze to her hand and noticed that Laura was correct. She grabbed it with her other hand and let go of the laser. As she watched it drop to the floor, she growled at it in the back of her throat. 

“Oh, LaFontaine is gonna love this game,” Laura said, a smile spreading across her lips. That earned her a sideways glare from her girlfriend. “Hey, at least it wasn’t a rubber mouse.” 

Carmilla’s eyes widened at the mention of mice. She stood abruptly and went to the kitchen to grab her thermos of blood off the table, taking a gulp from it as she hurried back to her spot by the tree. 

“Dad?” Laura said, handing her dad a flat, square present. He unwrapped it quickly.

“Aw, thanks, pumpkin. You know, I definitely needed a new ‘firemen of New York’ calendar for my office.” He wrinkled his nose the same way Laura did when she was either irritated or playfully happy. Carmilla guessed it was the latter given his evident dedication to making Laura happy on Christmas in light of the events of last night’s dinner. 

“Wow, Uncle Jim and Aunt Rachel sure went all out this year,” Laura said, staring at the assembly of boxes she had picked up from the pile of presents. 

“They’re your godparents and it’s your first year at college. What did you expect?” Mr. Hollis replied. “Although, I did ask them not to spoil you too much. Part of that is my job.” 

Laura smiled at her dad as she began to tear her way through wrapping paper. She eventually uncovered a gray sheet and comforter set, Frozen themed pillowcases, a Doctor Who poster, and a Harry Potter mug with the Gryffindor coat of arms on it. 

“Aunt Rachel has quite the memory,” Mr. Hollis whistled. “You two have so many fan freakouts together I can’t make out half of what you say and the other half is words like ‘Moldymort’ and ‘Gafflily.’” 

Laura narrowed her eyes at her father. “Voldemort and Gallifrey?” She suggested. 

“That’s it!” He pointed a finger at her indicating her correct answer. 

“Good time for this one,” Carmilla said, holding a soft, tissue paper-wrapped package out to Laura. 

“I like the purple tape,” Laura commented. She broke the seal on the package and carefully removed a soft piece of fabric from the paper. 

“Carm, is this cashmere?” She asked, bewildered. 

“Pashmina, actually, but basically the same thing,” Carmilla said, waving her hand. 

Laura’s eyes widened. “No, they’re not! This is so soft!” She held the scarf up and unfurled it. A Gryffindor logo appeared at each end of the golden-yellow fabric. A mischievously contented smile curled her lips up as she glanced at Carmilla. 

“I guessed. It was the only house I knew,” Carmilla explained. 

“You so watched Harry Potter.” 

“No, I--”

“Without me! You watched Harry Potter without me!” Laura was suddenly throwing a bit of a tantrum. 

“Only the first one,” Carmilla grumbled. 

“Guess we’re having another movie night tonight.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, not my favorite update, but it's longer, so hopefully that makes up for it. Plus, who doesn't love some LaFontaine and Perry.

Laura’s phone started ringing just as the last present’s wrapping paper was tossed into the trash pile. 

“It’s Perry!” She announced excitedly. “The floor don,” she explained to her dad. He nodded back. 

Laura flipped the phone open and hit the speaker button. “Say hi to my dad, Perry! You’re on speaker.” 

LaFontaine’s voice came through. “Merry Christmas! And hi, Mr. Hollis!” 

“Are you at Perry’s?” Laura asked.

“Oh, yeah, our families always spend the holidays together. We basically live here for like, two weeks.” 

“Is that Laura?” Perry’s voice echoed over the speaker. 

“Hi!” Laura said, her smile audible in her voice. Carmilla scooted towards her, putting her arm around her girlfriend’s shoulder and shooting a brief glance at Laura’s father. He ignored her and stood and pointed to the kitchen. 

“Laur, I’m gonna put together some lunch. Leftovers okay with you?” He asked. 

“Sure, Dad,” she said to him over her shoulder. She turned her attention back to the phone sitting in her hand. “Did you guys open your presents yet?” 

“Ah, we usually wait until later. Take it slow, you know?” LaFontaine replied. 

“At least you didn’t get a laser pointer,” Carmilla said, casting a glance at Laura. She rested her other arm over her bent knee, her other leg dropped to the floor. 

“Aww, come on.” LaFontaine sounded genuinely disappointed. “Per? You coming?” 

“All the kids want cookies and none of them want napkins,” Perry said. She sounded closer now, and more out of breath, than before. “Hi, sweetie. How’s home?” 

“Home is good,” Laura said. “Carmilla’s here.”

“Carmilla!” Perry said, happy to talk to Carmilla from a distance well out of biting range. 

“Apparently she got a laser pointer,” LaFontaine began. “I could really use one of those. Not one of those cheap dollar store ones, but like a real laser.”

“I’m sure Carmilla will let you borrow it.” Perry was stuck in ‘addressing children with limited patience’ mode. 

“Once she catches the mysterious floating dot, maybe,” Laura said, looking over her shoulder to smile mischievously at Carmilla. 

“Hm. Deal,” Carmilla said. 

“We should go, LaFontaine. It’s almost lunch--oh no, sweetie, put that down!” Perry yelled, running off to attend to a child crisis. 

“Perry’s always a little stressed when the whole family’s around. Lots of breakable things,” LaFontaine explained. 

“She called you LaFontaine,” Laura said. 

“Oh, yeah. Official Christmas present,” LaFontaine replied. 

“Better than a laser pointer?” Carmilla asked. 

LaFontaine chuckled. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d say so. Okay, gotta go guys! Merry Christmas!” 

“Merry Christmas!” Laura said before hanging up the phone. She was taken by surprise when Carmilla briefly brushed her lips against her cheek. 

“What was that for?” Laura asked. Carmilla shrugged and let her arm drop from around Laura’s shoulders. 

“Time for another passive-aggressive discussion with Dad,” Carmilla said as she stretched her shoulders back. 

Laura winced at her words. “He doesn’t mean it, Carm. Like I told you, he’s just overprotective.” She paused. “Actually, that’s probably why you two butt heads so much.” 

“What, me? I’m not over protective.” Carmilla rolled her eyes and pulled her legs into a cross-legged position. 

“Hmm, sure. You saved my life how many times?” 

“Enough to keep you around. I’m not doing it for you,” she teased. 

“Oh, sure,” Laura looked at her from the corners of her eyes, then turned to face her. “If we were in a blizzard, right now, you would try to fight the snowflakes.” 

“Because I hate snow,” Carmilla retorted. “It’s cold, it’s wet, it’s everywhere at the holidays and so all there is to do is stay inside and watch awful Christmas films.” 

“Not the worst thing in the world,” Laura said, smiling at Carmilla. “We could watch something else instead.” 

“You don’t seriously want to watch Harry Potter on Christmas?” Carmilla stared at her incredulously. “Of course you do. I shouldn’t even be surprised.” 

“The first one and the second one are almost exactly like the books. They’re the best.” 

“Hm, I’ll get right to it,” Carmilla snarked. 

“You can read Gilgamesh but you won’t read Harry Potter?” 

“Too much magic.” 

“Says the actual vampire.” Laura crossed her arms and stared at Carmilla. Carmilla didn’t say anything for a while. “Uhm, sorry, I was totally kidding...Are you--”

“How do you feel about New York?” Carmilla avoided looking at Laura while she spoke. 

“Huh?” 

“Well...if you still want to go somewhere else before we go back to school,” Carmilla explained, glancing up at Laura out of the side of her eye, “It’s only a few hours away.”

“Uh--sure, I guess,” Laura said, narrowing her eyes at her ever-mysterious girlfriend. “Why..?” 

“Look. Cupcake. I know it’s not Paris, but why not?” 

Laura shifted her eyes to the kitchen, where her father was assembling various dinner scraps for lunch. “Carm, my dad won’t want us to leave before we have to.”

“Right. Of course. Dad.” Carmilla rubbed her eyes as she spoke. “How could I forget?” 

Laura stumbled over her words when she responded. “Carmilla, please. I’m sure it would be...magical, and glitzy, and--but I can’t leave my dad alone after spending hardly any time with him on Christmas.” 

“Just because you didn’t go to the cemetery with him?” Laura said nothing as her eyebrows knit together and she glanced away from Carmilla’s stare. “Seriously?” 

“What do you mean, ‘seriously?’ Yeah, seriously, I left my dad alone on Christmas,” Laura said. 

“It’s still Christmas, Laura. Go paint some cookies with him or something.” Carmilla rolled her eyes. 

“You know, not everyone takes cookie decorating as seriously as you do. Who ‘paints’ a sugar cookie?!” Laura’s voice had risen to a shout by the time she finished speaking. Carmilla’s expression only shifted slightly, her brow furrowed and her eyes narrowed. The corners of her lips formed a barely detectable frown as she scanned Laura’s face.

“What’s wrong, Laura?” Laura shook her head. Carmilla continued after shifting so that she was facing Laura, copying her cross-legged position. “You’re not mad about cookies or cemeteries.”

Laura fidgeted, shifting the cross of her legs and picking at her fingernails. Carmilla brought her hand up slowly and waited a moment before putting her hand on Laura’s. “I’m sorry your mom isn’t here.” 

Laura’s eyes sparkled with uninvited tears as she grabbed Carmilla’s hand. She managed to flash a pained smile up at the vampire awkwardly holding her hand. A tear ran down across her cheek as she closed her eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” Laura said. Carmilla’s wide eyes didn’t move from their focus on her face. The vampire’s brow and forehead were etched with worry. Laura continued, “Ever since my mom died, Christmas has been stressful. Having just two people, we just got used to it, I guess, but three, and without my mom...it just--” She cut herself off and sniffed rather loudly. 

“Laura...” Carmilla started, but had no idea what to say. Mr. Hollis had evidently heard Laura’s sniffing and shuffled over urgently. 

“Hey, pumpkin.” He knelt down next to her on the other side from Carmilla. “I don’t mind that you didn’t come with me today. And you don’t mind it either.” He poked a finger at her forehead and she looked up at him. Carmilla considered withdrawing her hand, but Laura was holding it tightly with hers. 

“I just miss Mom,” Laura half-whispered to her dad. “I didn’t know I remembered her enough to, but it’s Christmas and this is the first time it really feels like it since and now--” She inhaled shakily. Carmilla wouldn’t have guessed she could have held her hand tighter, but Laura proved otherwise. A timer went off in the kitchen and Mr. Hollis ran to attend to the leftovers. 

“...Laura?” Carmilla’s voice was even closer to a whisper than Laura’s. When Laura’s eyes met hers, she looked down at their hands. 

“Geez, sorry,” Laura said, pulling her hand away, holding it up, and stretching out her fingers.

“Hey, don’t,” Carmilla said. When Laura’s eyes stayed focused on the floor, Carmilla used a single bent finger to pull her chin up. Laura’s eyes drifted between Carmilla’s face and no particular spot in the lower right portion of her field of view. Carmilla continued when she had enough of Laura’s attention. “Apologizing for crying is definitely worse than crying on Christmas. Quit it. You miss your mom, fine. Don’t be sorry about any of that. Stop with all the sorry, Laura.” 

Laura managed a small, forced smile at Carmilla’s words. Carmilla’s finger swept over another tear just as it started falling. Her almost instantaneous reaction to spotting the tear made Laura smile and laugh a little. She brought her own hand up to take Carmilla’s off her cheek. Laura smiled again as she looked at the cute worry line between Carmilla’s eyebrows. She wrapped her arms around Carmilla’s neck, hands balled into fists. Carmilla brought one hand up to hold onto Laura’s upper arm, her other hand resting in her lap. She was close to tears herself, confused and angry that she hadn’t considered earlier that Laura might miss her mom around the holidays even if she claimed to have forgotten her the rest of the year. 

“Let’s go to New York,” Laura said into Carmilla’s shoulder. She pulled away before continuing. “But we have to be back by New Year’s.” 

“Lucky we’re right around the corner.” 

“Hmm, sure. From Amish country Pennsylvania to New York City.” 

Carmilla kissed Laura once quickly to give Mr. Hollis no reason to turn around from his work at the stove. 

“Just a day trip,” Laura clarified. 

“It takes half a day to get there.” Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her. 

“You said it was a couple hours!”

“You want to spend six hours on a train in one day?” 

Laura scrunched her face up and glanced away from her girlfriend. “Fine.” She noticed Carmilla smiling smugly. “What?”

“Nothing, cupcake. Just that scrunched up face.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> caution: contains homophobic statements by a character. whoops, it got angsty again. hah. my bad. theyll get to their real vacation eventually.

Lunch was awkward. Laura couldn’t have described it any more concisely or accurately. “Leftovers” meant the garlic mashed potatoes were back, and her father expected Laura to eat some. The whole thing was a petty mess: she would be offending her father if she didn’t eat them and forcing Carmilla five feet back from her for days if she did. She settled for a compromise. By taking some of the potatoes and just moving them around her plate, she figured she could please both parties. Holidays had definitely not been this hard when her mom had been around. Then again, her mom and dad had gotten along. With Carmilla, that was a different story. 

Laura wanted to talk to her father, ask him to give Carmilla some time to warm up, but something was keeping her from broaching the subject with him. She knew he and Carmilla had been arguing about something the night before and she knew it had something to do with Carmilla being a vampire. At least that’s what it had been about before Carmilla had almost jumped him for something he had said too quietly for Laura to hear. If she was going to be an investigative journalist, she certainly needed to work on her investigating skills. She decided now was as good a time as any to start. 

“Hey Dad,” she began, “did you ever find the vegetables?”

“What vegetables?” He replied innocently. Carmilla scoffed as she poked at the ham slice on her plate. 

Gotcha. “Yesterday at dinner you asked me to go get veggies from the fridge.”

His expression flipped from confusion to alarm before he was able to cover his story. 

“Oh! Shoot. I must have forgotten to pick them up.” His eyes flickered between Laura, his plate, and Carmilla. 

“We don’t get them delivered anymore?” Laura continued prodding him. 

“Ah, no, we do.”

“They just don’t deliver at Christmas?”

“Nope.” 

“Hm. You would think that would be a pretty busy time for them. They did last year. And they deliver over Thanksgiving still--”

It was Carmilla who cut her off, dropping her fork onto her plate. The silverware clattered loudly, startling both Laura and her father. Carmilla crossed her arms, resting her elbows on the table and leaning across the table over her forearms. She cleared her throat. “Get to the point, cupcake.” 

In the brief silence that followed, the entire atmosphere of the room shifted, like the sun had been suddenly blocked out by a storm cloud. “Laura, what are you getting at?” Her father asked. 

“Okay, I don’t know what you guys were talking about last night but when I came back in you looked about ready to tear each other’s throats out.” She glanced at Carmilla. “Which you should not do under any circumstances.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair. At least she listened when Laura set boundaries, even if they were as ridiculous as “don’t murder people.” Her dad had never been too good at taking Laura seriously, which he demonstrated on cue. 

“Pumpkin, I’m not sure what you think you heard--”

“Why don’t you tell me then, Dad?.” 

Laura was all too familiar with her father’s rewriting of events. This time, however, there was a witness to stand against his false testimony. Laura stood up and continued. 

“Look, Dad. It’s okay if you don’t like Carmilla. I didn’t like her at first. She’s messy and has weird sleep habits and does not fully appreciate the chore wheel.” Her father looked genuinely horrified at the admission. “But Mom was the same way. She left her clothes everywhere and it drove you crazy but that doesn’t mean you loved her any less. Right?” She looked at her father expectantly, hoping he would agree. He nodded and she continued, foregoing revealing any more points from the litany of roommate offenses Carmilla had committed. 

“I know she’s a vampire and all, but she hasn’t hurt anyone.” That wasn’t exactly true. “She tries to help people.” Partial truth. “And I love her.” Definitely the truth. “So please, try to get along. For me.” 

Carmilla was trying to hide her smile and doing a rather poor job of it. Her father’s face expressed something between disappointment and resign. She decided it was best to give him a chance to speak, taking her seat again. Carmilla would have told her she was being too dramatic, but trying to get through to her father gave her few options. 

“Laur, it’s not the vampire thing. I get it. I asked a werewolf to prom in high school.” 

“Really,” Carmilla said incredulously. “Or is this another dad joke? ‘I dated a werewolf once!’ ‘I’m fine with my daughter dating girls!’ Suspension of belief rarely plays into humor well.”

Laura’s jaw dropped when she finished processing Carmilla’s words. This is wasn’t about Carmilla’s personality. It was about Laura’s sexuality. 

“...Dad?” Laura looked at her father, secretly hoping he and Carmilla were tricking her, pranking her or something. Maybe they were also best friends who made flower crowns together while waiting for Santa’s reindeer to land on the roof. 

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say anything offensive,” he explained, hands out on the table, palms turned up to the ceiling. “I was just surprised is all. I had to find out from the videos.” 

“Well...I--Carmilla is the first person I’ve dated, ever,” Laura said. “I didn’t really see a reason to bring it up until now, I guess.” She was much calmer now, focused on discussing rather than prosecuting. 

“Well, geez, Laura, you could have at least talked to me about it,” he replied, strongly resembling both a rejected puppy and a sad Laura. “I just sat around trying to figure out why. I know kids experiment in college and all, but then you brought home this punk vampire and I didn’t really know what to think.”

Laura took a deep breath, trying to remain composed and talk her dad through his misunderstanding of non-heterosexual relationships. She knew he wasn’t trying to insult her or Carmilla, but she didn’t like her girlfriend being reduced to the epithet ‘punk vampire.’ 

“Like everyone didn’t wear leather pants back in the 70’s,” Carmilla said, turning so her back was to Laura and her arm was draped over the back of her chair. 

“I didn’t,” Mr. Hollis retorted. “It was against my school’s dress code.”

“I did,” Carmilla replied, leaning across the table towards him. 

“Will you two QUIT IT!” Laura shouted. “Carmilla, this is seriously not the time. Dad, I’m gay, I have a girlfriend, and my girlfriend is an angry existentialist punk rock vampire. So get over it.” 

Her father’s face was stoic. That was one trait he hadn’t passed on to Laura: when she was mad, she said so. He just became suddenly quiet. Laura was glad she wasn’t like that. 

“We’re gonna head back to school tomorrow,” Laura said. She caught Carmilla’s eye when she looked at her quizzically and did her best to nod reassuringly. She was improvising, but had faith her girlfriend had caught on and wouldn’t break the scene. Carmilla was usually content to let Laura do the talking until there arose a chance to insert a snarky comment. 

“Fine. You do what you want.” His eyes sank. “I suppose I can’t ground you for going to school.” 

An absurdly uncomfortable pause followed. He was still trying to make jokes. Laura was mad enough at him; she could only imagine how angry Carmilla was. Laura worried she might have hurt her father’s feelings by speaking out to bluntly, but she couldn’t be averse to the truth. Not with journalism, not with her father, not with Carmilla. Withholding honesty didn’t accomplish anything--except getting them to New York. Strategic honesty, Laura decided, wasn’t lying.

“I’ll grab the dishes,” Laura said, swiping her and Carmilla’s plates off the table and heading for the kitchen.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> extra time + ideas = another chapter. Enjoy!

Carmilla disliked the cold. Granted, she was usually cold, and she attributed that to being undead, but she still hated snow and winter and everything about the season. Over three centuries she had seen Christmas turn from a time of solemn reverence to an excuse to buy more stuff. She hardly remembered spending Christmas with her family--her real mother and father. And her brother. She had never been particularly close with her family members, but they had certainly topped Mother and Will. When she had first met Will during the 1950’s, she had hoped he might be a sort of surrogate for the brother she had lost centuries before. She gave up that hope relatively quickly after watching him brutally subdue and feed from a young girl in the middle of a concert at the Woodstock festival. That was not the sort of family she wanted. 

She and Laura stood side by side waiting for the 7:04 train that would carry them to New York. Carmilla tried to turn her thoughts towards less unpleasant memories, but the cold always made it hard for her to think happy thoughts. She gave up on false optimism and reached for Laura’s gloveless hand. 

“How are you not freezing?” Carmilla had two coats on plus heavy leather gloves. After taking one step outside, she had insisted on going back inside and putting on a pair of leggings underneath her jeans before leaving the Hollis residence. They had taken a taxi to the train station--this time Laura’s father didn’t cover the charge. 

“It’s like forty degrees out,” Laura replied, taking Carmilla’s hand and swinging their arms back and forth. “It’s basically spring.”

Carmilla made a sound in the back of her throat that was a combination of a growl and a discontented monotone moan. 

“So what do you wanna do in New York?” Laura asked, looking at Carmilla with wide eyes. Carmilla smiled at her playfully.

“How about re-enacting the couch scene?” Carmilla proposed, turning to face Laura and grasping her other hand. She raised an eyebrow and bit her lower lip, knowing full well that it would elicit a flustered reaction from Laura.

“Uhh,” Laura stammered, yanking her hands away and wiping them on her jeans. “We should probably talk about that at some point.”

Carmilla nodded. She wasn’t avoiding the topic, necessarily, but the inevitable interruption came when the train pulled up to the station. They could wait until they got to their hotel to talk. Carmilla picked up Laura’s suitcase and hoisted it up the stairs along with her own. Laura led her to the back of the second to last car and chose a bench by a window as their seat. Carmilla threw their luggage onto the rack above the seat and stepped over Laura’s knees to claim the spot closest to the window. As soon as she sat down, Laura settled onto her shoulder and closed her eyes. 

“Hmm, your coat’s fluffy,” Laura murmered into her new Gryffindor scarf. 

“Still making fun of my layering?” Carmilla replied with a fraction of her usual commitment to sass. She hadn’t slept well between pondering the conversation with Laura’s dad and her anticipation for their trip. Hence, she was grateful Laura wasn’t in a chatty mood and had chosen sleep over conversation. Laura shivered slightly and wrapped her arm around Carmilla’s stomach, her hand landing over her girlfriend’s hipbone. Carmilla moved her hand, careful not to shift her shoulder, to rest on top of Laura’s. Carmilla concluded that at least one good thing had come from the cold and let her head drop on top of Laura’s as she fell asleep. 

A few hours had passed when Carmilla was pulled out of slumber. Laura was chewing some cereal she had packed rather loudly, which Carmilla had heard before waking up. She had dreamt she was in a forest and Will was searching for her, unable to see her even when he walked right past her. Once Laura had started crunching, however, the trees in Carmilla’s dream had started to move, walking to form a wall between Will and Carmilla. What happened next would remain a mystery as Carmilla opened her eyes and saw the source of the mysterious crunching noise. 

Laura noticed her girlfriend was awake rather slowly. Carmilla watched her violently chew through three handfuls of Cookie Crisp by the time Laura happened to spot her in her peripheral vision. Laura turned towards her, eyes wide, ever more slowly munching another handful of cereal. She stopped chewing altogether when her gaze landed on Carmilla. She paused and gulped down the partially chewed Cookie Crisp. 

“Sorry,” she said, crumbs falling from the corner of her mouth. 

“It’s alright, cupcake,” Carmilla said, bringing her own thumb up to her mouth to indicate to Laura that she had unintentionally saved a snack for later. Laura touched at the opposite side of her mouth and was perplexed when she found no crumbs. Carmilla sighed unnecessarily loudly and brushed off the corner of Laura’s lips herself. 

Carmilla stretched her arms up over her head, letting her right arm come down around Laura’s shoulders. She pulled Laura towards her, leaving no space on the bench between them. Laura was still looking up at her, her eyes bright even after awakening recently. Carmilla closed her eyes and bumped her forehead against Laura’s, pulling back to speak to her. 

“Could we go see the Metropolitan Museum of Art?” She was practically pleading with Laura. She had wanted to see the museum since it had first opened. Although the exhibits would of course be completely different, she still had to see this museum. 

“Ooh, sounds fancy. Of course,” Laura said excitedly. That earned her a wide smile from her artistically savvy girlfriend. “You’re gonna be like a kid in a candy store.” 

“Children appreciate art much more than adults do,” Carmilla said with mock defensiveness. 

“There’s this really great place we can go for dinner, too,” Laura added. “Ellen’s Stardust Diner. You can choose a song and the waiters will sing it for you live. They jump on tables and everything.” 

“Sounds great, cupcake.” 

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” 

“Um...” She hesitated, making Carmilla suspicious. 

“What, Laura?” 

“When was the last time you spent Christmas with a real family?” Carmilla suspected she knew the answer, but she was feeling well-rested and particularly patient after her nap.

“Long time ago, sweetheart,” she sighed. “Not since before--everything.” 

“Do you miss your family a lot?” Laura asked the question like a young child might ask why Santa Claus had only eaten daddy’s favorite cookies and left the other ones behind. Carmilla decided to indulge her nonetheless. Rarely did anyone ask about her past, and she found sharing it with Laura was less painful than other times she had discussed it. 

“Sometimes more than others.” 

“Do you miss Elle?” 

Carmilla’s breathing stopped for a moment as her heart jumped at the name. It wasn’t the same familiar fluttery skip that came when someone mentioned Laura to her. Instead, Elle’s name made her feel like she had just approached the edge of a high cliff and looked over the edge only to find nothingness for hundreds of feet. 

“I--” Carmilla broke off when she realized she had no answer. She wasn’t ambivalent about anything; she just hadn’t thought about Elle much. Memories of her were all tainted with deceit and betrayal. Carmilla looked down at the floor of the train as if it might miraculously answer for her. 

“It’s none of my business. Sorry,” Laura said, disappointed in both herself and the lack of a definitive answer from Carmilla. 

“It’s hard to miss her. Our entire friendship was built on lies,” Carmilla explained. “Once she found out the truth, she ran. At least she tried to.” 

“I would say you could ask about one of my exes now, but there aren’t really any options,” Laura said, trying to lighten the discussion. 

Carmilla shrugged. “For me it’s just Elle. If she even counts.” Laura looked as her father had when he found out Carmilla didn’t use the chore wheel. 

“You haven’t dated anyone else in three hundred years?” 

“Mother was never much encouraging of attachments. Made things messy.” 

“Wait...so have you not...”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow at Laura and finished her sentence for her. “‘Waltzed’ with anyone? I’m very old-fashioned, cutie.” Laura said nothing. She just sat there in blank silence, in awe of what she was hearing. “Dancing was scandalous enough. Hence, I don’t chest-to-chest with strangers. Face-to-face, on occasion.” 

“Well...this makes things...easier? I guess?” Seeing Laura at a loss for words was worth the admission. 

Carmilla smirked at her. “No pressure, cupcake. I’m in no rush.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reflections at the art museum.

The art museum was absolutely huge. They could have spent days going through it without seeing the same piece twice, but Carmilla had a particular fondness for the Impressionist pieces. She lingered in front of every pastel water lily they passed and looked at each as if she was recalling a memory of visiting the exact location in the painting. Greek and Roman scenes also drew her attention. As a philosophy major who had lived through ideological rediscoveries of Greek art forms, she was intimately familiar with the myths depicted in each painting, sculpture, or tapestry. Her headphones were plugged in for most of the time and she was listening to a play list that contained a surprising amount of pop music. She and Laura had argued over her music tastes: Carmilla claimed Kelly Clarkson’s voice transcended genre classification and Laura pointed out that her album was labeled “pop” on iTunes. 

Carmilla justified some of her tastes as “blue pop.” She liked blues and jazz music. She wished she hadn’t missed the early 1900’s. The mythologies surrounding the early blues and jazz musicians were fascinating to her: one guitarist had allegedly reached his unparalleled level of skill by trading his soul to the devil. It was about as believable as Greek myths--Hera turning women into animals and what not--but interesting nonetheless. 

By two in the afternoon, they had spent about three hours at the museum and all Laura had eaten was Cookie Crisp. It was time for lunch. She tapped Carmilla on the arm. She took a final sad glance at the bridge in the painting and took out one of her headphones. 

“Lunch?” Laura asked. 

“Asking me on a date, cutie?” Carmilla replied. Laura rolled her eyes but smiled as she grabbed Carmilla’s hand. Once they reached the edge of the Impressionist wing Laura had to practically drag Carmilla out of the room. 

“Carm, come on, I’m hungry,” Laura whined. 

“Sorry, sorry.”

“You really like Monet, huh?” 

“What gave me away?” Carmilla flashed her a small, sad smile. 

“Have you been to that bridge?”

“Well, no, that bridge doesn’t exist. One much like it, though. I went there with--with Elle. Often.” 

Laura still wasn’t sure what the proper way to respond was when Carmilla brought up Elle. She didn’t feel the pang of jealousy she expected to at the mention of her girlfriend’s first love. Carmilla had lost her in a terrible way and Mother had abused her for something as innocent as loving someone. Laura’s father disliked that Laura was dating Carmilla, but at least he didn’t punish her for falling in love. Selfishly, Laura felt a little happy that things hadn’t worked out between Elle and Carmilla. She couldn’t help herself there. All she could do now was try to comfort Carmilla when she felt sadness or guilt over the situation. 

Carmilla spoke again when Laura didn’t respond right away. “Bridges don’t last. Outside of paintings they rot and collapse. Art is quixotic too often.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t love looking at it.” Laura replied, relieved the conversation had moved away from Elle for the time being. 

“Hmm.” Carmilla smirked a little and stopped walking to look at Laura. “In Paris, there’s a bridge where lovers can leave a lock with their initials. Then they throw the key into the river.”

“You really wanna go to Paris, don’t you?” 

“It fulfills expectations better than other cities.”

“And they have crepes,” Laura added. 

Carmilla laughed. “And they have crepes.” She remembered they were going somewhere and not just standing around holding hands. “What’s for lunch?” 

“Uhm, I hadn’t really thought about it. We can always try a food truck.” She actually really wanted to eat at a food truck. Her father had never let her try it because it was “unsanitary,” but they smelled so good and always had lines waiting in front of them. 

“How about somewhere inside,” Carmilla said as they stepped out onto the street. “It’s subzero out here.” 

“It is literally above freezing temperature,” Laura said, flashing Carmilla a look of disbelief and amusement. “Inside’s fine, though. How about there?” She pointed to a cozy looking cafe across the street. 

Laura picked a table while Carmilla ordered hot chocolates for both of them. She made sure to add extra whipped cream to Laura’s. She picked out the most symmetric croissants from the display case and grabbed a giant chocolate chunk cookie. She knew Laura had hardly eaten and ordered a sandwich as well. Her wallet was significantly thicker after she had withdrawn most of the remaining funds from the shared account Mother had set up for her and Will. They certainly wouldn’t be needing it anymore and one of the perks of being immortal was that bank accounts could build interest over decades. Carmilla had more than enough spending money for a while, but she planned on finding a job when she could. The supernatural cafeteria on campus didn’t cost anything, but if she wanted to be able to take Laura out to dinner every once in a while she would definitely need the money. 

When their drinks and food came up, Carmilla carried their tray over to the booth Laura had chosen and sat across from her. She liked being near windows, and Laura had conveniently chosen a booth where Carmilla could face one. Laura attacked her sandwich mercilessly, too occupied for conversation, giving Carmilla a chance to people watch for a bit. New York City was an excellent people watching location: people appeared every second and their interactions were typically full of expressions and gestures. The silence didn’t last long, but Carmilla didn’t mind being interrupted by Laura as long as she wasn’t ranting about Harry Potter again. 

“What about the afternoon? Our dinner reservations aren’t until 6.”

“We’re eating lunch right now and you’re already on dinner?” Carmilla commented. 

“Hey, cereal isn’t that filling. Plus, museums make me hungry.”

“Museums make you hungry.”

“It’s a lot of walking!” Laura defended. She had finished the sandwich and was moving on to her croissant. 

“I hadn’t really thought about it. Hang out at the hotel?” She offered the suggestion without innuendo. The hotel had a pool that she genuinely wanted to try out. “We could go for a swim.” 

“Sure,” Laura said, biting into the croissant. “Did you bring a swimsuit?”

Carmilla shook her head. “Did you?” 

Laura made a face indicative of a negative answer. “I didn’t really anticipate needing a swimsuit in December. Shorts and a sports bra work for me.” 

“I can work with that.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> swimming? nah.

Carmilla splashed warm water over her face to rinse off any remaining makeup that she had missed. She was planning on redoing it anyway before dinner, so taking it off before getting in the pool would save her some trouble. Laura was changing in their room, so Carmilla knocked on the bathroom door to check that the coast was clear before opening it. 

“Took you long enough,” Laura said. She was seated cross-legged on the edge of the queen-sized bed wearing a pink sports bra and matching pink shorts. Her hair was tossed up in a messy bun. Carmilla had seen Laura in a tank top and that was enough to make her stomach do flips. Cute was not the appropriate word for the sporty look: she was annoyingly, absurdly attractive and it was making it difficult for Carmilla to remember that they had planned to go swimming. 

“If you keep your hair like that it’ll be a mess,” Carmilla commented. 

Laura shrugged and let her legs drop over the side of the bed, crossing one over the other. Her hands rested on the edge next to her thighs. Carmilla approached her briskly, taking a few steps across the room. She stood right in front of Laura and leaned over her legs, entangling her fingers in Laura’s hair. She let the hair tie drop onto the covers, but her hold lingered. She drew her hand around to rest on Laura’s shoulder, lips slightly parted. Laura was looking up at her, biting her lower lip. 

“Change of plans,” Carmilla said. 

“It’s open later,” Laura agreed before she rose off the bed slightly to meet Carmilla’s lips. She drew her back down just as quickly. As she settled back onto the bed, she moved backwards so that she could rest on her elbows. Her calves hung over the side still and she wrapped one around Carmilla’s lower left leg, pulling her on top of her. Carmilla’s hands came down onto the bed just in front of Laura’s, her fingers intertwining with Laura’s as she grabbed her hands. Laura took the initiative to force Carmilla closer, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her down. Laura settled completely onto her back and Carmilla kept her grip on Laura’s wrist. She dragged Laura’s hand up just over where her head was, half pinning her to the bed. Carmilla considered moving her lips down to Laura’s neck, but, realizing Laura was effectively shirtless, abruptly pulled herself up. She stood off to the side, running her hands through her hair nervously. 

“What’s wrong?” Laura asked as she sat up. Despite her lack of breath, she still sounded worried. 

“I--don’t know,” Carmilla replied. 

“Okay, that’s a lie,” Laura said, pulling her legs up onto the bed into a cross-legged position again. “You wanna talk about it?” 

“I just got ahead of myself,” she explained. 

“I don’t really know what you--oh.” As Laura arrived at the embarrassing conclusion, Carmilla nodded. “Like you said, no pressure. Like, I wasn’t even thinking about it.” 

“Who’s lying now?” Carmilla smirked, sitting down next to her. 

“Seriously,” Laura continued. “I just kind of go on autopilot. Besides, I’m not usually the...dominant one.” 

“Well,” Carmilla started, “did you want to switch?” 

“I was trying to give you a break the other night,” Laura explained. “On the couch?”

“Mmm.” Carmilla affirmed that she remembered the event well. “I remember you shoving me.”

“Yeah, I got a little aggressive. Sorry about that, again.” 

“Not a problem, cutie.” 

Laura laughed nervously.

“Something funny, cupcake?” Carmilla asked, confused by Laura’s giggling. 

“Nothing.” Laura reconsidered and told her the truth. “I was, um, imagining what would happen if I tried what you just did.” 

Carmilla narrowed her eyes. “What..?” 

“Nothing, never mind,” Laura waved her hands frustratedly. “This is awkward, sorry.” 

“It’s only awkward if you say so.”

Laura smiled at her in relief. “Sorry. I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to this stuff and you have three hundred years of practice.” 

Carmilla shrugged. “I already told you, I haven’t been good about practicing.” 

Laura stared at her silently for a moment, which Carmilla took to mean doubt. She put her hands up and continued. 

“Believe me or don’t. It’s the truth.” 

“No, of course I believe you,” Laura said, still staring in awe at Carmilla. “I trust you, Carm. Totally. I just don’t get how you look so good without makeup.” 

“You’re not making this easier, cupcake. And don’t apologize,” she stopped Laura before an apology could roll off her tongue. She returned to the topic of their earlier conversation. “Elle didn’t love me back. Not...the same way. She wouldn’t have come with me regardless of my Mother. Maybe for a while, but she would have gone back.” 

“Carm, I’m sorry.” Laura shut her eyes and tightened her lips as soon as she accidentally apologized again. “What I meant was, that was a long time ago. Elle’s gone, and now...” She trailed off, watching Carmilla, afraid she had said the wrong thing. 

Carmilla placed her hand on top of Laura’s. “And now I’ve got you.” 

Laura smiled at her and then dove to hug her. She felt Carmilla’s arms wrap around her waist and coax her closer. They sat like that for a minute or so before Carmilla drew in a deep breath and pulled away. Her head was down and she was wiping at her face with the back of her hand. Laura put a hand on her lower back and scooted even closer to her so that their legs were touching from their hips to their feet. 

“It feels like you’re always taking care of me,” Carmilla said. “All I do is bring you hot chocolate.” 

“Hey,” Laura said softly, drawing Carmilla’s gaze up from the floor, “it’s okay. You’re not supposed to be super-strong all the time.” 

Carmilla cracked a smile and let out a laugh. Laura was sunshine anthropomorphized and Carmilla had no idea why she of all people was lucky enough to have her. 

“Laura?” Carmilla said. Laura said nothing, just looked at her attentively. “I shouldn’t have been so mean to you. When we first met, I had a job to do, but as soon as I saw you...it complicated things.”

Laura responded, her brow furrowed in confusion. “What did? I thought you were helping girls escape anyway.” 

“I was, but...once I saw you, I couldn’t let you go.” Laura’s eyes widened. Carmilla continued despite the feeling that she was rambling. It felt so good to finally tell her. “You asked if I thought soulmates were a childish fairy tale, but I was in love with you since you turned around in your chair.” 

“That explains a lot,” Laura sputtered. Once she regained her composure, she continued. “Don’t ever pretend not to like me again.” 

Carmilla smiled. “Deal.” 

Laura kissed her lightly and Carmilla’s hand floated up to Laura’s cheek. Carmilla kissed her back harder, as usual, but refrained from continuing to press against her lips so forcefully. Their kisses remained soft and simple until Laura surprised Carmilla by biting her lower lip. Carmilla tried to pull away to say something snarky about how biting was part of her job description, but Laura didn’t let her lips free for a second. She pressed Carmilla’s shoulders back so that her head landed on the pillow at the head of the bed, following her down. “Mmph” was all that came out when Carmilla tried to speak. 

Laura pulled away less than an inch from Carmilla’s nose. “Do you really need to comment on it right now?” 

Carmilla smiled at Laura’s perceptiveness. Laura resumed kissing her, tongues slipping between smiling lips. The pool would definitely have to wait until later.


	13. Chapter 13

Carmilla was unfamiliar with the sense of not being in control, but she wasn’t altogether uncomfortable with it. She trusted Laura to be considerate and not do anything out of bounds, though Carmilla wasn’t sure she would stop her for many reasons. Carmilla kept her arms wrapped around Laura’s waist and hips. She was so tiny that sometimes Carmilla worried she would slip right through her hands if she didn’t hold her tightly enough. Laura was taking things slowly; her hands had barely moved from Carmilla’s shoulders.

“You can move your hands, you know,” Carmilla mumbled. 

“Thanks for the tip,” Laura returned. She paid Carmilla back for her sass by instead moving her lips first to her cheek and then her neck. She tugged at the collar of Carmilla’s shirt to get at her collarbone. Carmilla eyed her with amusement. 

“Don’t stretch it out,” Carmilla said, raising an eyebrow at Laura playfully. 

“Then get it out of the way,” Laura replied, breathing heavily.

“I think all this dominant nonsense is getting to your head,” Carmilla said as she reached for the hem of her shirt. Before she had pulled it over her head, Laura’s hands were on her. One was grabbing her hip; the other was trailing behind the edge of her shirt, following it up her stomach and stopping by her heart. Two of Laura’s fingers grazed the fabric of Carmilla’s bra. She hesitated for a moment when she realized where her hand had wandered to, but decisively let it settle where it was headed. Carmilla tossed her shirt off the side of the bed, anxious to kiss Laura again. She didn’t get the chance right away: Laura’s lips were focused on Carmilla’s neck and collarbone. 

Carmilla swore quietly to herself. When she had suggested Laura take the reins, she had been mostly joking. She never expected her to know what she was doing right away, and yet Carmilla found herself pinned at the hips under Laura with a half a dozen dull purple hickies down the right side of her neck. On top of that, Laura’s other hand was busy at the edge of Carmilla’s jeans tracing aimless patterns over her pale skin. Carmilla let her own hand flirt with the top of Laura’s shorts, hooking her thumb underneath and grasping desperately at the terry cloth fabric. For a brief moment she was tempted to get rid of the few layers of fabric still separating them, but she resisted and relaxed her hand over the pink shorts. Her other hand was tangled in Laura’s hair. 

Laura backed away slightly, hesitating to return her lips to Carmilla’s. She was straddled over Carmilla’s hips as she had been on the couch. When she drew back from her girlfriend and sat up straight, Carmilla dragged herself up as if Laura were holding a powerful magnet and Carmilla was wearing a suit of armor. Carmilla kissed her gently a few times, one hand holding on to Laura’s waist as the other remained lost in golden-brown hair. She stopped when she felt Laura’s hands lift off of her skin. 

“Are you alright?” Carmilla asked, though it was technically it was more in Laura’s role description to ask. 

Words came to Laura slowly in the moment. She wasn’t sure how to tell Carmilla how nervous she was. 

“Do you want to stop?” Carmilla asked, running her hand from Laura’s hair down to her upper arm. She still held Laura’s waist with the other. It was unlike Laura not to respond right away. Carmilla rubbed Laura’s upper arm, hoping she hadn’t upset “Laura, say something.” 

Laura caught her breath and looked at Carmilla. She could see the worry line between her eyebrows that appeared on cue whenever Laura was upset. The vampire’s brown eyes were flecked with gold, something Laura had never noticed before. Whenever she had been this close to Carmilla before she had been caught off guard, but she was able to look at her now without being thwarted by the once impenetrable space between them. She breathed deeply, steadily. Carmilla’s eyes were fixed on Laura, searching for a sign somewhere on her face. 

Carmilla pulled her hands away. They landed just behind her hips, bolstering her seated position. Laura knew her girlfriend wouldn’t say any more, but she also wouldn’t let the issue drop until she knew Laura was alright. 

“I don’t really know what I’m doing,” Laura said sheepishly, dropping her gaze from the intense eyes looking at her. She ended up looking at Carmilla’s chest, which did not ease her nerves. 

“Take it from me, you’re doing just fine,” Carmilla replied. 

Laura smiled at her shyly and tried to keep from looking at Carmilla, but she was drawn back in by the piercing concern and undivided attention she was receiving. Her face flushed when Carmilla grasped her thighs. She pulled herself towards Laura, almost brushing her lips. Almost. Laura’s breathing quickened when she heard Carmilla whisper to her before their lips met again. 

“Need to take a break?” Carmilla’s voice was low and rough. She bit at Laura’s lower lip. Laura nodded once almost imperceptibly, but it was enough confirmation for Carmilla to take over. Before Laura rolled off of her, however, she tugged at the waistband of Carmilla’s jeans. Carmilla smirked at her mischievously, one eyebrow popping up. “You sure, cupcake?” 

“If you are,” Laura responded in a small voice. 

“I asked you first.”

“I answered you.” 

“Laura,” Carmilla started, “no pressure.”

Laura rolled off Carmilla’s lap to the other side of the bed and lay down next to her. She folded her hands over her bare stomach and sighed. Carmilla turned to face her, propping herself up on her right elbow. 

“I’m so sorry,” Laura said. 

“Hey,” Carmilla reproached her. She placed her other hand over Laura’s, who separated her hands to hold Carmilla’s. The vampire’s touch was noticeably less tentative than it usually was when she reached for Laura’s hand. “No more apologies.” 

“I know, I’m so--wow, I can’t go two sentences without saying ‘sorry’ for something. I really am sorry, though. I just keep getting freaked out.” 

“These jeans are hard to take off. I don’t blame you,” Carmilla joked. 

“Carm, I’m serious.” Laura’s words verged on pleading. She drew her hands away and clasped them together over her eyes. “I just don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t know what you want me to do and it’s just so--it’s kind of a big deal, at least to me.” 

Carmilla gave her a small smile and lowered herself off her elbow, flipping over onto her stomach. She laid her head on her hands and faced Laura. 

“I get it, cutie,” Carmilla said. She added, “I do,” worried she might come off as sarcastic even in a vulnerable moment. “No pressure, no rush, just vacation. We’ll have our own Christmas.” 

“So you’re totally fine with...not...um...”

“Without sex? Don’t worry about me, sweetheart. I’m here with you. Are you sure you’re alright?”

Laura shook her head. “I freaked out for no reason. I so could have kept kissing you.” 

“Good thing you didn’t,” Carmilla said. The face she earned from Laura convinced her to reword that point. “I would have let you. You wouldn’t even have to ask.” 

Her cheeks flushed a deep red. If Laura hadn’t been so nervous already, she would have taken note of the warm fluttering feeling at the bottom of her stomach.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hard chapter to write. i decided to explore some deeper relationship stuff with laura and carmilla. one more coming up.

Laura felt her stomach tighten. It felt like she had just done a hundred crunches. She stretched her core, folding her hands behind her head and pointing her toes towards the opposite wall, but the tightness didn’t go away. A frown formed on her face. 

“What’s wrong, cutie?” Carmilla had settled onto her side to face Laura, noticing her peculiar expression. “If I’m a bad kisser, you can tell me.” 

Laura laughed a little, the ache in her stomach preventing her from guffawing at the sheer absurdity of Carmilla’s statement. There was no way she had ever been accused of such a thing. “No, of course not. You’re...well, you know.” She rolled her eyes, embarrassed as well as determined to avoid inflating Carmilla’s ego. “I feel weird.” 

“Weird how?” Carmilla’s brow furrowed, all the sarcasm stripped from her voice.

“Like my stomach hurts. Except not quite,” Laura tried to explain.

“I’m not following,” Carmilla said, narrowing her eyes. 

Laura scoffed and grabbed Carmilla’s hand, placing in on the lower part of her stomach. “Like around there.”

“Is it worse with my hand here?” Carmilla lifted her hand off Laura’s stomach so that it hovered over the spot Laura had indicated. 

“Better, actually,” Laura said, her brow now knitting together in confusion. 

“Guess it’s not cramps, then,” Carmilla said, the sass returning. She let her hand rest on Laura’s stomach again, rubbing small circles over her olive skin. When her hand passed over the lowest part of Laura’s stomach, two of her fingertips snuck just under the waistband of the pink shorts. Laura inhaled sharply and Carmilla drew her hand away abruptly, her eyes wide. 

“Did I hurt you?” She asked the question like the answer could shatter her. 

Laura closed her eyes and shook her head. A smile spread across her lips whenever Carmilla played overprotective girlfriend. Carmilla propped herself up on her elbow. 

“You’re sure?” Carmilla asked. 

“Yes, Carm.”

Camrilla stared at her with raised eyebrows. Laura pressed her eyes shut tighter and gestured irritatedly when she spoke. 

“You don’t need to freak out every time you touch me. I’m sure, Carm. I’ve only been more sure of, like, three things in my life. I know you had that dream that scared you but please stop freaking out about this. Okay?”

Carmilla’s expression had changed. A curious smirk had crawled onto her face. “And those would be?” 

Laura blushed and tried to bluff out of answering the question. “W--what? No, I was--um. Nothing. What were we...talking about?”

“Your three things, cutie.” Carmilla looked at her intently, smiling ever so slightly. 

“Oh. Um, well, that my dad loves me, that I...and that our school is totally crazy. Like that shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. After the whole mushroom thing I’m pretty sure that would top anybody’s list.”

“You skipped one, cupcake.” 

“I--um,” Laura muttered something. 

“I can’t hear you,” Carmilla teased. 

“I’m scared,” Laura started. Carmilla’s eyes became serious, the little line appearing between her eyebrows. Laura interrupted herself. “Do you have to make that face?” 

Carmilla was perplexed. Her face was upsetting Laura? “Get to it, Laura.” Laura sat up; Carmilla followed her and moved a loose strand of Laura’s hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. She said nothing, staring at Laura expectantly. 

Laura inhaled deeply before continuing. When she looked up at Carmilla, her eyes were shining. “What if Elle comes back somehow? What if you...get bored with me? I just--”

“Hey, hey, no. First of all, stop all this. Elle is done, whether she mysteriously resurrects from the undead or not. Laura--” Carmilla broke off, putting her palm on Laura’s cheek and guiding her so that their gazes met. “Laura. I loved Elle. She didn’t love me. But I am in love with you. When we fought the antediluvian evil light under the earth I wasn’t trying to save Elle. I was trying to protect you. Just believe me when I say it was all for you and I would do it again.” 

Laura smiled uncertainly. “Please don’t.”

A smile broke through Carmilla’s seriousness. “No promises, cupcake.” 

“Carm, I thought you were dead. For weeks.” 

“No you didn’t.” 

Laura looked down at the bedsheets and gripped them tightly between her fingers. “No, I didn’t. But everyone else did.” 

“I don’t care about everyone else.” 

Laura looked back up at Carmilla without loosening her grip on the sheets. “Please. Carmilla. The third thing--I know I can’t lose you again. I mean, come on, the first time was bad enough.” She flashed a smile at Carmilla as tears started to spill over onto her cheeks. 

Carmilla put a hand on Laura’s shoulder tentatively. A half second later, she had pulled Laura close, hooking her arms around the side of Laura’s ribs and holding her. Laura curled into Carmilla’s chest, allowed herself to be held for one timeless moment without worrying that eventually Carmilla would let go of her. She felt Carmilla’s chin resting on top of her head and her own shoulder pressed into Carmilla’s. Carmilla pressed her lips to the top of Laura’s head.

“I suppose ‘sorry’ doesn’t really cover it.” 

Laura let a laugh escape and wiped her eyes. She sat up so that she could face Carmilla. “I guess we both have some baggage, huh.”

Carmilla pressed her lips together, the corners of her mouth curling up just barely, the ghost of a sad smile. “I don’t want to lose you either. I refuse to. Probably why I...well, if I hold onto you too tightly, you might slip away.” 

“Carm, that makes no sense.” 

“I--it makes sense to me,” Carmilla protested doubtfully. Her eyebrows pressed together, confused by her own logic. 

“I think I know what you mean. Like, if you hang on to the wrong thing and you’re clinging to--”

“Never mind. It really doesn’t make sense,” Carmilla admitted, dropping her gaze to the bedsheets. 

“I’ll get over Elle eventually. I mean, I won’t be ‘getting over’ her, but, like, come to terms with her? That’s not what I meant. Um...” Laura’s hands moved in a flurry of exasperated gestures as she searched for her words. 

Carmilla sighed. “You’re going to hurt yourself with all that flailing.” Laura brought her hands down slowly, resting them in her lap like a child in trouble for being too rowdy. 

“So baggage. If this is going to work we’re going to need to deal with it, preferably sooner rather than later.” 

“No ‘if,’ Laura.” Carmilla only used her real name when she was profoundly concerned or speaking seriously. 

“Right. No ‘if.’ So we’re going to have to deal with this stuff.” Laura’s eyes held a modicum of doubt in them, worry that Carmilla wouldn’t find delving into her painful emotions worth it. Instead, the vampire nodded definitively. 

“How do we start?” Carmilla asked. 

“Well...I was hoping you would have some ideas about that.” Laura said, avoiding eye contact. 

“Alright, cupcake. What’s bothering you about Elle?” 

“I don’t know, maybe the fact that you tried to run away and elope with her?”

“Laura...it was all a mistake. I thought I was going to lose the only person I had ever cared about and never get another chance. I was wrong, for one thing, but for another I was trying to run away from my Mother. Leaving the only family I had was precariously close to impossible to do, no matter what the circumstances. I thought I couldn’t do it alone. Now, Mother isn’t a problem anymore and, like I said, Elle didn’t love me.” 

“You still loved her,” Laura reiterated. 

“And I can’t change that no matter how much I wish I could. It hurt and it was a mistake.” Carmilla’s eyes pleaded with Laura to understand. “Childishly persistent infatuation is an ocean away from love.” 

Laura nodded and was silent for a while. Eventually, she took a deep breath and posed her own question to Carmilla. 

“You’re not really scared to touch me, are you?” 

“What?” Carmilla shifted quickly so that she was settled on her knees instead of cross-legged. She wiped her hands on her jeans. “Why would you think that?” 

“You said you were scared to hold on to me,” Laura reminded her, eyes wide and still sparkling. 

“That’s...not what that meant. Sometimes I’m afraid you’ll just float away in a gust of wind if I--if I don’t hold you just right. But with Elle I tried too hard to keep her with me and lost her because of it and I don’t feel like letting that happen again, alright?” Her voice had risen in volume and pitch until it verged on a panicked scream. She brought herself back down and continued. “I don’t want to scare you off.” 

“Carm, I know you’re a vampire. I know you drink blood and make sarcastic, snarky comments. You don’t like trusting people but sometimes you can’t help it and then you’re scared they won’t feel the same way about you.”

Carmilla stared at Laura expressionlessly. “I’d say you summed it, cutie.” 

“And you use nicknames to try and fake being close to people when really all you’re doing is avoiding intimacy.” The focused confusion appeared on Carmilla’s face again. “You use them on everybody. I know I’m not the only girl you’ve ever called ‘cutie.’”

“Alright, so I give up the nicknames. What about you and getting over Elle?” 

“I--I’ll figure something out,” Laura offered sheepishly. 

“Not good enough, cutie.” 

“Alright, fine. Um...” Laura looked around the room, hoping to find an answer in one of the distant corners. 

“Dinner’s in an hour, cutie. Better think fast.” 

“Carm, come on, I’m trying. Please stop with the nicknames.” 

“Can I at least keep ‘cupcake?’ Really, you’re the only one sweet enough for it.”

Laura blushed, her cheeks matching the pink workout clothes she was still wearing. “Fine.”

“I think I’ll put my shirt back on before dinner.” Carmilla started to get up from the bed when Laura grabbed her wrist. 

“Wait.” Laura pulled her back so that she sat on the side of the bed, looking at Laura over her shoulder. “I promise I’ll think of something. Just give me some time.” 

Carmilla smirked at her but agreed. “Sure, Laura.”


	15. Chapter 15

The few blocks between their hotel and the diner felt like hiking up a mountain peak, the biting evening chill relentlessly stabbing at any exposed skin. Carmilla tried to hide as much of her face as possible in the collar of her coat, but despite her efforts her eyes were watering by the time they arrived at the door to the restaurant. 

“You’re gonna love it,” Laura said excitedly. “Did you pick a song?”

“A song? Am I serenading you in public now?” Carmilla replied. 

“No, the waiters will sing while we’re waiting for our food. You just give them a song and if one of them knows it they’ll perform it, dancing and all.”

“Sounds like quite the spectacle.”

A young woman with freckles smattered across the bridge of her nose greeted them at the end of a short hallway inside the door. 

“Welcome to Ellen’s Stardust Diner!” 

Laura smiled brightly and spoke. “Hi, we have a reservation under Hollis.”

The waitress scanned her finger down the long list of reservations. “Yep! Found ya. Right this way.”

She led the couple up a small hidden staircase to the upper level of the dining area. The diner was set up as a wraparound balcony surrounding a courtyard of tables in the middle where a couple of waiters were putting on a dedicated performance of one of the few public-appropriate songs from “Avenue Q.” Laura nudged Carmilla and pointed to the lower level from from over the banister. 

“That’s where the big dance numbers happen,” Laura said, nodding. 

“Someone did their research,” Carmilla responded, flashing Laura an affectionately sassy smirk. 

“Is this table alright with you two?” The hostess asked. 

“It’s great, thank you,” Laura said, still smiling. They sat as the hostess left them. “Pick a song yet?”

“It’s been two minutes, cupcake,” Carmilla retorted, raising an eyebrow at Laura across the table. 

“Just wondering,” Laura said. “They have really good burgers here, by the way.” 

“I was thinking more ‘rare steak.’”

“Mmm. Delicious.” 

“I’m ordering for me, not you,” Carmilla said. It would have sounded cold if she was in any way capable of acting so towards Laura. 

“Touche,” Laura said. “If I get fries, do you want some?” 

“Depends.” 

“Sweet potato fries?” 

“How about I leave you to solve this grueling dilemma while I find a restroom?” Carmilla’s suggestion was hardly an inquiry. She stood and made her way over to the staircase behind Laura. 

Laura took her time scanning over the menu, but she had decided what she wanted to order before walking inside the door. She was fairly certain Carmilla had gotten lost inside the old restaurant by her third time reading through the dessert menu. Their waitress happened to walk by, and Laura waved her over. 

“Excuse me, how do I request a song?”

The waitress twisted her brow exaggeratedly. She spoke quickly, twisting a towel between her hands. “So sorry hon, but we’re pretty full up right now. Usually we can accommodate everybody’s requests, but we’ve got a real rush hour on our hands. Nobody’s gonna be getting a song in anytime in the next hour.” 

“Oh, that’s no problem.” Laura paused. “Um, where’s the bathroom?”

“Right down those stairs at the end of that short little hallway.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Of course. Let me know if you need anything, hon. Sorry about that song. We’ll try and getcha a dance before you leave.” The waitress winked and scampered away. 

Laura got up from her chair and made her way over to the metal staircase. With time to kill and Carmilla likely lost somewhere inside the restaurant, she decided to take her time checking out the decor. On the walls hung autographed headshots of whom she guessed were former waiters at the diner who had gone on to have careers on Broadway. She recognized a few of the names, but her musical theater knowledge was shamefully lacking outside of big name productions. After detouring to the bathroom, she returned upstairs to the table where Carmilla was waiting for her. 

“Hey,” Laura greeted her. “Decide to take a bus tour of New York City during dinner?” 

“There was a line.” Carmilla didn’t look up from the menu when she spoke. Laura noticed she had tied her hair up in a messy bun on top of her head, then shrugged and sat back down. It wasn’t unusual for Carmilla to get moody considering she disliked being around a handful of other people let alone a crowded restaurant in a big city. 

“Hey, Carm,” Laura said. Carmilla’s gaze snapped up from the menu. “I think I thought of something. You know, for the thing we were talking about.” 

Carmilla simply raised an eyebrow at her. 

“Okay, well,” Laura began, “the only thing I know about Elle is that she broke your heart, which pretty much automatically makes me hate her. But I guess I should thank her, too. In a way she kind of helped you stand up your mom, like a long time ago and also in the pit. I can focus on that.” 

Carmilla narrowed her eyes across the table. “Awfully noble of you, cupcake.” She would certainly not reveal to the other guests at the restaurant that her heart felt like it could beat its way out of her ribcage just from Laura’s words. 

Laura shrugged. “Not really. I’d rather say she had at least one good reason to show up than just let everything about her existence gnaw at me.” 

Carmilla smiled at her. At first it was barely perceptible and Laura thought she might be imagining it, but a grin spread across the vampire’s face when the music changed. At first, Laura heard a plunking piano and a deep cello and assumed the song was some classical duet that Carmilla had somehow convinced the waiters to play. Then an acoustic guitar introduced the first verse. 

“I love this song!” Laura waved her hands in front of her chest excitedly when she recognized the first lines of Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years.” Their waitress was singing it across the balcony. 

“Do you?” Carmilla’s expression implied that she was fully aware that the song had been played over three hundred times in Laura’s music library. 

“Carm...” Laura said as she looked at her sideways. “You didn’t get lost finding the bathroom, did you?” 

Carmilla shook her head, smiling, as she stood up and held a hand out to Laura. “Dance with me, Laura?” 

Laura grinned and laced her fingers between Carmilla’s. She placed her other hand on her girlfriend’s upper arm, Carmilla taking her waist and pulling her closer. Laura’s suppressed giggles blossomed into genuine laughter as Carmilla led her in a basic waltz in front of their table. By the second chorus of the song they had relaxed into an even simpler, swaying slow dance: Laura was nestled into Carmilla’s shoulder and Carmilla’s head rested against Laura’s. Laura drew her gaze up to ask the question that had just crossed her mind. 

“How did you get them to do this song anyway? I thought they mostly did musical theater.” 

Carmilla shrugged. “Theater kids get a bit squeamish at the simple sight of fangs.” 

“Carm, you did not!”

“Just the DJ.”

“Carmilla.” 

“And the waitress. In my defense, I did try to bribe them first. You would think twenty-something bohemians would jump at the mere smell of money, but they required additional convincing.” 

“We are leaving her a very nice tip.” 

“Whatever you say, cupcake.” She touched her forehead to Laura’s and closed her eyes. 

“As far as big gestures go, I’ll take this over self-sacrifice every time.” 

“Hmm. Me too, Laura.” She only had to move slightly for their lips to meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading everyone :) that's all for this story. please send me prompts and such on here, on ff.net (my profile crimsonkiwi), or on tumblr (krimsonkiwi.tumblr.com)  
> comments are always appreciated. y'all are so damn nice. jeez. hope you enjoyed it, because I certainly enjoyed writing it.


	16. Epilogue

Years Later

 

Laura stared at the clock. She willed it, commanded the last number to change. Time never moved slower than on Christmas morning. Maybe it was like waiting for water to boil--if she didn’t look, it would happen. She shut her eyes and snapped them open a second later, hoping to take the clock by surprise. Still 6:59. She tried again--nothing. Her eyes closed again, involuntarily this time, her eyelids stubbornly heavy. Carmilla’s arm was wrapped around her waist and it was so warm under the comforter that Laura forgot why she wanted to wake up so early in the first place. Pictures of presents floated into her head, and she jolted awake. The clock had jumped forward several minutes. 

“Carm. Wake up!” 

“Is it before seven? Because if it’s before seven--”

“It’s 7:03. I gave you a whole three minutes extra.” 

“Mmph hmmphmm,” Carmilla rolled over and said into her pillow. 

Laura bounced up and sat on the edge of the bed and stretched her arms. “What? And remember, your pillow isn’t going to kiss you good morning.” 

“I said Merry Christmas, cupcake,” Carmilla replied as she wrapped her arms around Laura from behind. 

“Sure.” Laura kissed one of Carmilla’s pale cheeks. “You sleep okay?”

No response. Carmilla had fallen back asleep with her chin resting on Laura’s shoulder. 

“Hey,” Laura poked her in the side, eliciting a growl. “Let’s open presents.” 

“Fine,” Carmilla huffed, dragging herself out of bed. 

Twenty minutes later, they sat in the living room of their apartment by a miniature Christmas tree. Laura had opened exactly one present before falling asleep in Carmilla’s lap. A suspiciously book-shaped present was just within Carmilla’s reach, so she started reading while stroking Laura’s hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because why not


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